


The End and the Beginning

by AuroraBee



Series: The Ghost and the Darkness [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/F, Minor Character Death, background Skye/Trip, trigger warnings: violence/torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2018-04-10 02:44:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4374134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraBee/pseuds/AuroraBee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As their separate searches for answers lead Melinda May and Maria Hill to the place where they first met twelve years ago, and Coulson’s team, in their attempt to catch up to May, make discoveries of their own, it becomes apparent that the future is being shaped by the events of their pasts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Does not really utilize season two canon, so no spoilers for season two. Will continue to remain some level of AU from this point out.

PART ONE

 

_A Small Bar in Washington D.C., Five Years Ago_

 

“When I think about her my stomach hurts,” Maria said. She snorted towards her glass before taking a drink. “It sounds like something a high school kid would say.”

 

A smile played over Natasha’s mouth. “Maybe it’s indigestion.”

 

Maria laughed, trying hard to keep from choking on the drink she was taking. “I knew there was a reason we got along.” The glass in Maria’s hand reflected the dim light of the bar. After watching it for a moment, she drained it and ordered another.

 

“Maybe.” Natasha turned towards Maria. “But do you ever think what it says about you that you get along with me? Most people don’t even trust me.” She picked up her own glass, brought it to her mouth before adding, “And they have a reason.”

 

“I don’t trust you. I don’t trust anyone.” Maria tilted her head as she peered at her new glass. She sighed.

 

“There are trustable people in the world. Take it from someone who should know… because she doesn’t trust anyone either.” Natasha smiled. “But sometimes you have to have someone to watch your back. When that happens you have to figure out who that’s going to be, trust or not.”

 

“And when they don’t?”

 

“I didn’t say you trust them,” Natasha answered. “You still have to watch the person watching your back.”

 

“Again, why we get along.” Maria’s eyes were looking past the wet circle her glass had left on the paper napkin to somewhere that wasn’t in the small bar at all. “Fury was right, trust will get us all killed.” She took another drink.

 

“You’re such a weepy drunk,” Natasha said, taking Maria’s drink from her. She finished it in one swallow and wiped her mouth. “You haven’t spoken about her before. Did something happen?”

 

“If you sell your soul to do a lot of good for a lot of people, then it’s worth it, right?”

 

“No.” It was Natasha’s turn to be far away. “But in this line of work, you sell it for one reason or another.” She pressed her lips together, and then she shook her head. “I’d give anything to meet someone who actually tows the company line and manages to accomplish anything. It’d be good to know how it works. In case I want to try it someday.”

 

“If you find out, let me know.” Maria sighed, getting to her feet from the stool. “They say god is dead, so why even worry about our souls?” She grabbed her coat from beside her, slipping her hand into one pocket. Without any noticeable movement, the small black phone ended up in Natasha’s hand. What the phone contained, Maria had no idea. She only followed orders, and there was enough going on for her to worry about one of Fury’s projects on top of hers. “Thanks for the drink.”

 

“Anytime,” Natasha said, smiling as she slipped the phone into her pocket. “For what it’s worth, I don’t make promises, but you can count on me. To be one of the people who has your back.”

 

Maria hesitated, her hand on the bar as she leaned against it. “That’s not as comforting as you think it is,” was all she said before she left the bar. In the cold night air, she ran her fingers through her hair, her chest feeling tight. She closed her eyes, composing herself, and was distracted by the vibrating of her phone.

 

The number was encoded, but she recognized it as one of the doctors she was working with, Carolina Washington. ‘ _It worked.’_

 

Maria put the phone back in her pocket. She looked up into the dark night sky, stars obscured by clouds and the lights of the city. She exhaled, seeing her breath form in the air. Selling her soul it was then.

 

_A Hotel, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, Present Day_

 

May sat in a chair, wide brimmed hat on her head, sunglasses on, paper fanned out in front of her as she scanned the lobby, trying not to think about the fact that she was dressed in her sister’s clothes. She might not always enjoy her mother’s company, but May had to admit that her ability to pull together resources was impressive.

 

“What do you need it for?” Her mother had asked on the phone.

 

“The usual,” May had answered.

 

“Your sister is not going to want to part with her clothes. She likes designers. She knows you won’t take care of them.”

 

“They’ll come back in one piece.”

 

“I’m leaving you with the dry cleaning bill.”

 

For this particular hotel, there was no other way to get into the lobby without looking conspicuous. The net worth of the people moving around her was somewhere in the billions of dollars. Tony Stark would fit in here.

 

Thinking of Tony brought her thoughts back around to Maria. She’d thought of Maria this morning as she’d applied foundation to cover the yellow-brown of her healing bruises, injuries that reminded her of why she was here and what the stakes were. May had spent a lot of time mentally reviewing the past few weeks. Too many things didn’t make sense, and the only thing she was sure about was that whoever had orchestrated her capture in Singapore had something big in mind, something that went past what had happened in that underwater facility.

 

Whatever end goal they had in mind, then May had to stop them. That much was simple.

 

Someone stopped behind May’s chair. “ _Are you reading that?_ ” They asked in polished Mandarin. “ _I was planning a trip on a boat, but I did not know about the weather._ ”

 

“ _The weather is fine today. I was thinking about going out myself._ ”

 

The woman’s hand brushed over May’s shoulder momentarily before she thanked her and walked off.

 

May got up herself, making her way towards the hotel bathroom attached to the lobby. Waiting until she got in a stall, she pulled a small pair of tweezers from her purse, using them to extract a small piece of black metal from her shoulder. She rolled her eyes as a strand of the cotton silk blend came out with it. Like she needed another reason to avoid the next family gathering.

 

Carefully May put the small chip into a plastic bag, tucking it into her shirt before exiting back into the lobby. She gave a brief smile to a man who was watching her, paying attention to see if he or anyone else followed her, but no one did.

 

She descended the stairs out of the hotel, weaving her way through the streams of people on the street, ignoring the heat and humidity, as she focused on getting back to the small room she had rented outside of the main downtown area.

 

The crowds of the downtown area gave way to residential streets filled with apartment complexes and a variety of small local shops and restaurants. It was less clean, smelling of an urban mix of car exhaustion, food, people and garbage. May slowed down and focused on the scattering of people still around her. Most of them seemed to be paying no attention to her, but there were a few that seemed to be tracking her movements. She made a decision and took a left down a side street where there was only an older gentleman making his way down the narrow lanes.

 

After he unlocked a door and disappeared through it into a building, May could only hear the distant sound of people and traffic between the loud clack of her sister’s heels on the concrete. She slowed, trying to determine what about her surroundings was telling her something wrong. The wind had been jostling laundry on lines above her head, but the sound was off... May didn’t have time to figure it out before she spun towards a sudden movement from above her, slamming her elbow back into the man’s face, turning to kick him in the side of the head before he had time to recover.

 

By then another two had appeared out of the shadows, and she could see a couple more heading towards her from the main street. The first two were easy enough to knock flat, but the third pulled out his gun. May grabbed his arm, snapping his wrist back, and she took the gun and pointed it at the fourth man. “Who sent you?” she demanded.

 

His hand stopped on the way to his weapon, and he feinted lifting his hands. Then without warning, he snapped his gun out, but before he could fire, May had put a bullet through his forehead. “Want to be next?” she asked the third man.

 

He pulled out a knife and tried coming at her, but May hit him hard in the side of the head with the end of the gun.

 

Ignoring the blood, May kicked the limbs of the men on the ground, looking for insignias or markings. They didn’t stir as she searched, and she found nothing on their clothes or body to tell her who had sent them.

 

She was extra cautious on the way home, trying to make sure that she took a complex route to the small hotel where she had gotten a room. The owner was a woman who didn’t speak any English, but she did speak some Mandarin, and she gestured her hand at May when she noticed her coming into the building.

 

_“There was a man. He left something for you.”_ She looked around, finding a small business card and handing it to May. She seemed to search for words for a moment. _“They said you had something they wanted, and that they would make it worth your time.”_

 

May thanked the woman, waiting until she was back in her room to flip the business card over. It didn’t surprise her to see that it was blank except for a black ink tiger drawn with a calligraphy brush. May sighed. She’d really been hoping to avoid Madripoor.

 

_Outskirts of Bangkok, Thailand, Present Day_

 

“I know I’m technically from Southeast Asia,” Skye said, “But I am not built for this humidity. Give me California any day of the week.”

 

Trip laughed. They’d been keeping underground in a small house a man had agreed to rent out to them for a decent sum. Where he had gone to live in the meantime, Skye couldn’t be sure, but whatever they had paid him, it wasn’t worth it. It was small, and there was no air conditioning. At least it had enough room for her to set out her equipment. Managing a decent wireless connection in this part of the city had been a task, but keeping away from Bangkok had its own uses for disguising herself as she maneuvered through cyberspace. Whoever had taken May didn’t leave much of a trail, but the part of one they did leave was starting to become as familiar to Skye as the back of her hand. “What do you think of our honeymoon so far, sweetie?” she teased Trip, laughing when he raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“I think next time we should take a cruise.”

 

“Yeah, well, considering we didn’t have any vows in the first place, it’s going to be kind of hard to renew them.” Their cover story about being newlyweds had worked well enough considering it was only the two of them. Skye was the one who had suggested taking Trip and separating from the rest of the team. People didn’t usually take kindly to being hacked, and if they were traced, Skye had wanted to make sure that the whole team couldn’t be taken at once. Also it was more convenient to do what she needed to do here in a place where the internet was both more controlled and wild than it was in the elaborate superstructure of United States servers and mainframes, which was where Coulson had said he’d needed to go for information.

 

“How do you think Coulson is doing?” she asked.

 

Trip shrugged. “He’ll be in touch when he finds something.”

 

“I wish he’d hurry up,” Skye said, though she had been at this for so many days in a row that she had dreams full of coding, sometimes interlaced with patterns she didn’t recognize. She didn’t worry about it, she’d probably been looking at too many of the unfamiliar characters of various Asian languages.

 

“People are harder to track down these days.”

 

May was being hard to track down. Occasionally Skye would try using the handful of ways they had to track her, but she had gone off the grid. How she’d managed to mask them from finding her, Skye wasn’t sure, but it annoyed her. After what they had gone through a few weeks before, after almost losing her, how could she be so irresponsible as to try to tackle this on her own?

 

A small part of Skye tried reminding her that if May had been on her own in Singapore, she might have gotten out. She shoved the small computer aside, grabbing her hand wraps. “Okay, it’s time for a break. Let’s go.”

 

Trip was lounging on the floor, and he laughed, getting to his feet. “You’re frustrated about something.”

 

“I’m not,” she said, holding up her fists. “Afraid you can’t take me?”

 

“Hold on,” he said. She watched Trip getting ready, coding slowly filtering out of her mind as she tried preparing herself for this instead. These things could be learned. She was good at computers, but she could be good at this too.

 

He took the first swing without warning her, and she managed to duck it before reaching down to grab the wooden stick on the floor.

 

Trip jumped back when she tried to strike him with it, grabbing his own from where it was leaning against the wall. She blocked his next attack, the wood clacking together, before they both took a step back and looked at each other warily.

 

They went back and forth for a while, Trip mostly finding places where Skye’s defense of herself was weak, and Skye trying her best to rally back while she worked to anticipate him.

 

“You should train with a gun,” he told her.

 

“No guns,” she said. “Not yet.”

 

He moved in, and she narrowly avoided being hit on the leg. “Afraid?”

 

Skye shook her head, already feeling a bead of sweat crawling down the back of her neck. “I want to learn like this.”

 

“If you want to be Agent May, you should train with her,” Trip said, using Skye’s momentary distraction to hit her hard in the shoulder.

 

“Oww,” she said, covering her shoulder with her right hand until she needed that arm to block his next move. “Even if I did, she’s nowhere around, so…”

 

“I can tell you with the shape you’re in, she’d kick your ass in a heartbeat,” he said, taking a couple of jabs at her.

 

“Thanks for the encouragement.” Skye grinned when she finally managed to jab him hard in the stomach. “Not so fun, is it?”

 

He swung the stick around and got her in the back. Skye dropped to her knees and held up her stick. “Okay, okay, I give.” She watched him lower his stick before swinging hers hard against his side.

 

Trip rolled his eyes at her, grabbing her stick with his hand. “It’s over.”

 

“The bad guys aren’t going to play fair,” she said, getting to her feet, wiping at her clothes to get them back in place.

 

“No, they aren’t.” He leaned the sticks against the wall. “That’s not why we’re stopping.”

 

She gave him a questioning look, and he said, “Skye, how far do you think we’re going to get if you’re too bruised to do anything the next day?”

 

“May would fight with bruises,” she said defiantly.

 

“And how long has she been at this?” he asked. “Everyone starts somewhere. Accept where you are, or it’s going to take forever for you to get somewhere else.” He found a water bottle and tossed it at her.

 

She sat back down, opening her computer, knowing she was sulking and not caring. She opened the water, drinking from it greedily. Rolling her shoulder back hurt, but she ignored it, glancing over at Trip. She was going to take him down. Once she figured out how to.

 

_A Car Lot, Cambridge, Massachusetts, Present Day_

 

Felix Blake stood blinking into the sunlight. “It has great gas mileage,” he told the white, suburban couple he was showing around the lot. “Only two owners, and one barely drove it. It’s a great bargain.”

 

“I’m not sure about this color,” the wife said, frowning at the basic red paint job on the Toyota.

 

“Color hardly matters to how the car drives.”

 

It wasn’t the right thing to say, and she gave him a look before saying, “Maybe we’ll keep looking around.” He watched them leave before heaving a sigh.

 

“Cars?” he heard a familiar voice ask behind him. That was…

 

“Phil?” he asked turning around. “What brings you here? You don’t happen to want a car, do you?” His skills at sales had been considerably less spectacular than he had hoped.

 

Coulson looked over the Toyotas in the lot. “No thanks.”

 

“Worth a shot.”

 

“What are you doing here?” Coulson asked. “I get that government agencies weren’t exactly welcoming former agents with open arms, but I’d at least think you could find something private.”

 

“And be a sellout? No thank you. Besides, I thought I’d try something honest for a change.”

 

“Selling cars?”

 

“So maybe it has less to do with honesty than I thought.” He leaned against a nearby Camry. “Is there something I can do for you?” he said, glancing at Fitz and Simmons who were standing behind Phil. “So you still have the team together?”

 

“Something like that,” Phil allowed. “I need to track May down. I thought you might be able to help with that.”

 

“Don’t know what I could do for you. Everyone I know has nothing to do with that anymore.”

 

“I’m not sure if I’m supposed to take that seriously,” Coulson said. “But I don’t need you to contact anyone. I need what you know.”

 

“Why is that?”

 

“Because you were still in charge of a couple of things in Asia, weren’t you? Before everything happened?”

 

“You weren’t supposed to know that.”

 

“Yet,” Phil said, one shoulder raised into a shrug, “here we are.”

 

Blake glanced around, crossed his arms. “So maybe I was. Why? Is that where she’s gone missing?”

 

“It’s where she was taken recently, and, yes, we think she might still be in the area.”

 

“Garrett had a few projects in Asia.”

 

“That’s what we’re worried about,” Coulson said.

 

“I’ll help you out but not here.” He got out a piece of paper and wrote down an address. “Meet me later tonight. I’ll tell you what I can.”

 

“Thanks.” Coulson tucked the paper into his suit pocket. “And Felix?”

 

Blake raised an eyebrow. “Yes, Phil?”

 

“I’m wanting you to come with me on this one.”

 

“To Asia?” he asked, looking at Phil like he might have heard wrong.

 

“Like I said, you know it better. That was why we took you the first time.”

 

“A long time ago,” Blake said.

 

“Makes you nostalgic now, doesn’t it?”

 

“I don’t get nostalgic,” he said. “Especially for a time when we were younger and stupider than we are now. Though it hardly seems possible.”

 

It made Coulson smile. He nodded for Fitz and Simmons to follow him.

 

“See you tonight then,” Felix called after them.

 

“Do you really think he knows anything?” Fitz asked in a low voice.

 

“I think it doesn’t matter,” Coulson said. “Not for what we need him for.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

_S.H.I.E.L.D. Operations Base, Madripoor, Twelve Years Ago_

 

Coulson, May and Blake stepped off the helicopter, the blades whipping air against their faces. Two female agents waited for them on the platform, faces expressionless. When the helicopter blades started to slow, the first one shouted, “Index Asset Evaluation and Intake?”

 

Coulson nodded. “That would be us.”

 

“Only the three of you?” The young agent raised her eyebrow. “I thought I made clear the tenuousness of the situation.”

 

May looked amused at this comment, and it made Phil smile. “We’ll manage.”

 

She sighed, as if resigned to what she’d been given. “I’m Agent Maria Hill, and this is Agent Leona Smith. We were sent to assist you in any way you deem necessary.”

 

Blake was the one that looked skeptical now. “They sent the welcome team a welcome team?”

 

Agent Hill gave him a look. “Madripoor is not your usual political climate. Especially at the moment.”

 

“There are a lot of political factions,” Agent Smith clarified. “Most of them not very friendly to strangers.”

 

“So the unregistered gifted?” Coulson asked.

 

Maria glanced between the three of them. “Not going to be easy to get to.” She turned, making it obvious everyone was to follow her. Coulson exchanged another amused glance with May. She shook her head, trying not to smile as they followed after the two agents.

 

Leona held back a little, walking closer to the three of them. “Forgive her,” she said in a hushed, conspiratorial voice. “She wasn’t happy about being sent here.” She had her hands in her pockets, and she lifted one out to tuck a strand of dark red hair behind her ear. “The hole at the end of the world, as a few of us like to call it.”

 

“That bad?” Coulson asked.

 

She smiled. “Worse.”

 

They were lead to a small basement level S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, a basic set-up with equipment that, while up to date, was the minimum needed to run. When they were settled with the door shut, Hill grabbed a remote. “This,” she said, clicking so that a picture of a young Asian man came onto the projector screen, “is Akihiro. He came to our attention after there were several reports of him being shot or severely injured followed by him appearing nearly unharmed the next day.” She clicked methodically through some gruesome photos followed by photos of the young man looking fine in the same mangled, bloody clothes. Her gaze flickered over the people in the room. “The difficulty is, he works for one of the local crime lords, Roche, presumably a first name, last name unknown.”

 

Leona had leaned back in a chair and was watching all of this passively. When it was clear Maria was done, she said, “So as you can see, we needed more than a little backup.”

 

The looks Coulson exchanged with Blake and May were more serious now. May was the one to speak up. “We can handle it.”

 

Hill raised an eyebrow. “Does that mean you have a plan?”

 

May shrugged. “Not yet.” She gave Maria a smile. “You can’t expect every unidentified to be easy.”

 

Coulson smiled too. “Where are my manners? I’m Agent Phil Coulson. This is Agent Felix Blake to my right, and this is Agent Melinda May.”

 

Maria Hill had her arms crossed. “Charmed,” she said flatly.

 

“The Melinda May?” Leona asked, before whistling. “So they did take us seriously.”

 

“We’ll see,” Maria said.

 

Coulson stood up. “For right now you can give us the files. We’ll spend the night perusing them. In the meantime, dangerous political climate or not, is there a decent place to get a drink around here?”

 

Leona swung to her feet. “Thought you would never ask.”

 

_Small Motel, McDermitt, Nevada, Present Day_

 

Maria groaned as she rolled over, the pain from her ribs pulling her from the medicated sleep she’d fallen into late the night before. She opened her eyes to the plain white walls of the motel and the watercolor of a cow skull above the bed before promptly shutting them again.

 

She’d been dreaming about Leona Smith, hand stretched out before she was swallowed into the billowing flames behind her. Maria rubbed at her face. Thinking about the past too much was getting to her. She hadn’t thought about Leona in years.

 

In the small bathroom, she leaned against the rust stained sink as she took a few experimental breaths. She’d been hurt badly before, but usually she’d felt at least partially recovered by now. The bruises were healing well enough, only a faint discoloration to her skin left that she could poke without feeling much. Whatever it was had to be more internal.

 

She needed to see a doctor. Too bad the one she was going to see specialized in other things.

 

She washed up, poking around in her suitcase for something clean to wear before pulling it on and grabbing the keys to her rental car. At least the summer was over. Last time she’d been to Nevada, she’d been able to see the waves of heat coming off of the road. Now she could roll the window down, unwrapping a stick of beef jerky and holding it in her teeth as she put the car into reverse.

 

Fury had taught her a few ways of hiding coordinates or remembering locations without them. It had taken a couple of hours of sifting through her apartment to find the old Chinese menu, the strategic coffee and ink stains that had required a light board to see properly.

 

Now she headed west into the sparsely populated area of the Colorado-Nevada border outside of the town, listening to some patchy station that played old rock, trying to wash the beef jerky down with the rest of the water she’d bought the night before.

 

Pepper had left her several messages since she’d been gone, asking where she was, what she was doing, didn’t she understand what it meant that _the United States government_ was keeping tabs on her? Maria appreciated the concern, but she didn’t want to have to deal with it. The truth was she wasn’t only doing this alone because of the level of secrecy it demanded. She needed time to be alone.

 

Melinda May. Sure Maria had seen her in D.C. not too long ago, a few times before that to discuss Coulson, but it had always been brief, had never required much more than a momentary bracing of herself, a steeling of her resolve, and a stiff drink afterwards to move past. Clint was right, she shouldn’t have gotten involved, yet she had. She’d always been going to. Even now, she knew there was no other decision that she would have made, and that was what scared her more than anything else.

 

_“I just want to make sure that you’re not starting something here that you can’t maintain,”_ Clint had told her.

 

She sighed. Someone should have fucking warned her about what being divorced was going to be like. Written a handbook. But what handbook would have ever applied to Melinda?

 

Hadn’t it been that quality which she’d adored? She’d worked with people, people who could do things other people could never dream of, who had the ability to affect the entire universe, and not one of them had ever felt as uniquely put together, as _singular_ , as Melinda had.

 

God, she needed a drink. Not the pain pills. She’d only been using them to sleep, but now she was tired of the way they had been blurring her defenses, letting the past seep in. Ghosts that she’d kept at bay for years had started coming back, all because of those two words. The two words that had brought her back to the Nevada desert and the mistakes she should have known would follow her for the rest of her life.

 

\---

 

Dr. Kirby Martell was waiting on her porch with a shotgun, blonde hair in a disheveled ponytail, as Maria Hill parked her car on the dirt. Despite having the shotgun, she looked almost bored, shotgun hanging at her side, and when Maria got out of the car, she said, “Do you want a drink? I think I have some lemonade.”

 

“Not the kind of drink I could use,” Maria said, moving past her, up the porch and into the house.

 

“Suit yourself,” Kirby told her, following Maria inside. “The Mine has been closed. The only person who has been out here in decades has been you. Oh, and Director Fury.”

 

“What did he want?”

 

“To offer me a position in South America. I didn’t take it.” She shut the door, leaned the shotgun against the wall. “Stay away from people long enough, and it’s almost like you forget.” She sighed. “Then sometimes you don’t forget at all.” She pushed her hair away from her face. “What do you want?”

 

“So Carolina never came to see you?”

 

“Carolina?” Kirby shook her head. “Is there some reason she should have?”

 

Maria looked towards the window, as if needing to confirm they were alone, though she knew there was no one around for miles. “She’s dead.” Maria gave Kirby a look. “And when she died, she wasn’t working for S.H.I.E.L.D.”

 

Kirby stiffened. “Now I need something stronger than lemonade.” She paced a small circle then stopped. “Are they coming after me?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“You don’t know?” Kirby laughed. “The things I did for you. The things we did together, and…” She shook her head. She took a deep breath, smiled, a smile that had manic edges. “So what? What is your plan now?” When she noticed the look Maria was giving her, she shook her head again, more frantically. “You told me I wouldn’t have to.”

 

“I said I hoped that I would never have to.”

 

Kirby looked at her reproachfully. “I have stayed in this hole in the earth in the middle of Nevada protecting secrets that should have never existed, and the only thing I asked for in return was to be left alone. So leave me alone.”

 

Maria crossed the room, took Kirby by the shoulders. “What you know, if someone gets ahold of it, they will be the only people to know. We won’t have a chance.”

 

“And what chance would you have if you knew too?” Kirby had her eyes closed. “What would you do with it?” She opened her eyes. “You can shoot me,” she suggested.

 

It was Maria’s turn to shake her head.

 

“It would solve all of your problems, and let’s face it, I’m not happy here. I haven’t been happy in a long time. And we… we don’t deserve happiness. This has been my purgatory, but I have served my time in it. Let someone else take a turn.”

 

“I need the information, Kirby. Whatever happens next, we’re going to need to be as many steps ahead as we can get.”

 

“No,” Kirby shouted. “No, I’m not doing it. I spent too many years telling you yes when I should have said something else. Forget S.H.I.E.L.D. Forget science, forget progress, and forget the whole fucking rest of the world. I’m not doing it.”

 

Maria let Kirby’s arms go. She leaned so that her cheek was parallel to Kirby’s, mouth next to her ear. For several minutes there was nothing else, no other sound but the faint rasp of Maria whispering. When she was done and had pulled back again, Kirby looked at her with wet eyes.

 

She laughed hesitantly. “Can it be Colorado? It’s always been so close and so far away. Living here.”

 

Maria nodded.

 

“People will kill you for what you want, Maria. Not only H.Y.D.R.A.” She studied Maria for a long time. “This isn’t all of it though, is it? I’d always wondered. You don’t get to what we were doing from scratch.” She sighed. “But I guess that’s your problem now.”

 

Kirby found a kitchen chair, and she pulled it into the living room. She grabbed a tape recorder from a drawer in her desk before sitting carefully on the chair. “Beginning reverse encoding sequence 7-9-8-4-5-9-6-2, voice authorization, Kirby Martell, S.H.I.E.L.D. scientist, level six, clearance code 9-3-5-2-8…”

 

Maria watched with her arms crossed. This was the woman who had done a job that no one should have asked of her, used her own brain to store secrets that they couldn’t safely keep on record. Now Maria was going to be guarding those secrets on her own.

 

She hoped Kirby Martell was at least partially right, because if this were purgatory, it meant that maybe they hadn’t both forfeited their souls that night five years ago. She also hoped that, deserve it or not, Kirby managed to find a way to be happy, because Maria had given up on that long before all of this had started, so the thought that she couldn’t have it now didn’t really bother her.

 

_Felix Blake’s Apartment, Cambridge, Massachusetts, Present Day_

 

“Thank you. It was good,” Coulson said as Felix took away the plates of spaghetti he’d fixed them for dinner.

 

“I’ve been working on it.” He smiled. “Cooking has always been a bit of a passion of mine.” When the table was clear, the dishes in the sink, he sat back down. “Are you ready to tell me the whole story?”

 

Coulson sighed. “The basics? May was captured on a mission, technology retrieval. After we got her back, she might have had some… creative differences with me about what steps to take next.”

 

“How did you piss her off, Phil?”

 

“She wasn’t…” He looked at Fitz and Simmons, who sat watching the conversation politely. Coulson lowered his voice. “Maria might have gotten involved.”

 

Blake laughed, a full-bodied laugh that shook his frame. He had to take a moment to compose himself, and even after that, a few more deep breaths. “So how do you expect to track her down now?”

 

“I had someone we could contact in mind,” Phil said, “But we’d need a way to get her attention, and last time I saw you, you had just the person I’d need working under you.”

 

Felix sobered up. “Wait a minute, Phil, are you expecting me to believe you came all the way out here for _Claire Wise_?” He closed his eyes, looked like he was counting to ten. “Don’t tell me you’re wanting Benny to come as well. I wasn’t in charge of him.”

 

“Don’t need Benny. You know Jessan has always preferred to work with women.”

 

“Jessan fucking Hoan, are you kidding me?” He gave Phil a reproachful look. “Wait, you’re wanting Claire to rob a bank?”

 

Fitz leaned over to whisper to Simmons, “Do you have any clue what’s going on?”

 

She shook her head no.

 

Coulson glanced over at them then back at Felix. “I need to contact her. You know what Jessan Hoan is like.”

 

“You do too, and you apparently still…” He shook his head and got to his feet. “I’ll get you Claire’s fucking number.”

 

The three of them were quiet until he was out of the room. “Well that went well, Sir,” Simmons said.

 

“You’ve been spending too much time with Skye,” he said.

 

Fitz noticed Simmons looking for confirmation. “What? It’s true. You two probably spend time in each other’s rooms, braiding each other’s hair and talking about the rest of us.”

 

“We do not,” Simmons said. “Well maybe a little on the second part, but…”

 

She was interrupted by Felix Blake returning and throwing a hastily scrawled number on a piece of paper on the table before sitting down. “Do me a favor, and if she dies, don’t tell me. I’ll feel responsible, but I don’t think I’d really find out if you don’t tell me.”

 

Simmons frowned at him, but Felix didn’t seem to notice. “So at least tell me, how did Melinda react to her ex-wife showing up? Did they have any expression on their faces or did they do that blank expressionless thing that they do?” He smiled and shook his head as he leaned back against his chair. “I would have paid to have been there.”

 

Simmons and Fitz were both staring at him. “Did he say ex-wife?” Fitz looked at Coulson.

 

Simmons seemed to be thinking hard from her place beside him.

 

Phil shrugged. “Now you know.”

 

“Time was, it was the most talked about secret in S.H.I.E.L.D.,” Felix said. “Though we all knew that was true. I’m still not sure I believe that Natasha Romanoff _actually_ got Nick Fury the penis-shaped birthday cake.”

 

“That’s… actually true,” Coulson told him.

 

“Bruce Banner and the, umm…”

 

“True.”

 

“I’m not even going to ask about the--”

 

“True.” Coulson smiled. “To be fair, Tony Stark had bet Natasha that she wouldn’t do it, and you know how she feels about making easy money.”

 

“I think it makes sense,” Simmons told Fitz. When he frowned at her, she said, “You should have seen them together at the clinic. It wasn’t…”

 

“Wasn’t what?” he asked. “Wasn’t heterosexual?”

 

Simmons gave him a look. “Fitz, please. It wasn’t friendly, but it was…” She shrugged. “There was a bit of overreaction on both sides. Especially coming from May.”

 

“What does May overreacting even look like?” Fitz asked.

 

“Well,” Coulson said, getting to his feet. “I think we should be going. I do mean it, Felix, it would be nice to have you along. We could use what you know.”

 

“You wanted my assistant. I think I’ll pass.” He sniffed, then straightened and offered his hand to Phil. “But if you find yourself backed into a corner…”

 

“Thank you.” Phil shook his hand and gave him a smile before turning towards the door.

 

“But she’s been with men before?” Fitz said as he got up from his chair. “And how could you be married to Agent May? I can barely get three words out of her, and most of the time it’s ‘just do it’.”

 

“People aren’t restricted to liking one gender, Fitz,” Simmons said. “And I’m sure she wasn’t always like that.”

 

“Are you both done?” Coulson asked.

 

They both looked away from him. “We’re done,” Simmons promised.

 

“Good. Now let’s focus on the mission at hand.”

 

They’d taken a few steps when Fitz muttered, “I’m never going to get this out of my head.”

 

Simmons gave him a small, reproachful smile, but a raised eyebrow from Coulson had already shut Fitz up.

 

_Outskirts of Bangkok, Thailand, Present Day_

 

Skye made a face as her laptop lid was shut on her. “What are you doing? I was in the middle of something.”

 

“You’re always in the middle of something,” Trip told her, sitting down in front of her. “But you need a break. It might reset your mind. Get things flowing a little better.”

 

“Things are flowing just fine,” Skye said defiantly. “Look, you want me to sleep more, I’ll sleep more. You think I need to eat better, I’ll eat better, but right now…” She opened the laptop. “Right now I need to be focused on this.”

 

She made a squeak of protest when he shut it again. “Trip, what are you doing? I’m telling you, I’ve tracked down this ip address in Bangladesh to a routing number that came through a bank yesterday morning in Hong Kong, and now I’ve almost gotten to where the transaction took place, and if we find that, maybe we could hack into the bank’s security camera, see if we can’t see who is making the actual transaction, and then we have a face. We have a face, not a bunch of numbers and digits that could belong to anyone, but a face that belongs to one person… unless they have an identical twin, but even then, it’s a connection to the face we need.”

 

He studied her for a moment, looking more amused than Skye appreciated.

 

“So can I?” she asked.

 

“Fine,” he said, getting to his feet again. “But you take a break after that.”

 

“Yes mister S.O., sir,” she said, smiling as she saluted him, and he rolled his eyes at her.

 

She’d been at this for too long. What Skye had forgotten about living primarily as a hacker was the way that it started becoming the way she saw the world. There were theories out there, mostly by crazy people, that the whole world was made of math, but those theories actually made sense when sometimes she could look at a building and imagine it as a set of 1’s and 0’s. Almost like the Matrix, but less cool, and hopefully with less robots keeping people in pods, though since she had joined S.H.I.E.L.D., she couldn’t deny that maybe it was a possibility. There were aliens out there. Anything could be a possibility.

 

“You know that scene in the Matrix, with the cat, and the déjà vu, and it means that they’ve changed something in the Matrix?”

 

“Are we really talking about the Matrix right now?” Trip asked.

 

“Yes, well, sort of…” Skye sighed. “I know I’m seeing the same codes over and over again, but I’m not quite sure why, and I’m starting to think that it means something… less program based and more…”

 

“More like they’re communicating with each other?” he asked, suddenly behind her, interested in the screen.

 

“You can’t see any of it now,” she told him, glancing over her shoulder. “But yeah, something like that.”

 

“When you get done write them down,” Trip told her.

 

“You know the two of us being alone together has made you really bossy,” she said. “I almost wish I’d taken Fitz on this mission.”

 

“Not Simmons?”

 

Skye shrugged. “Sometimes I actually want to listen to her weird science talk, see if I can’t figure out something about what she’s saying. But I do think they are changing something or planning something, because lately the codes have started to evolve slightly, almost like something has happened.”

 

“As long as we don’t wake up with giant needles stuck in the back of our heads,” Trip said.

 

“You’d take the blue pill?” Skye asked with a grin.

 

“I’d have not followed some strange chick I met online in the first place.”

 

She clicked then clicked again, smiling triumphantly when some black and white footage appeared on the laptop. “Told you things were flowing just fine.” The two of them stared at it together, watching the people come and go. “We’re looking for whatever happened at 12:33:42 in the video…” She clicked to pause it right at that time marker, and there was only one woman visible on the bank floor. Skye clicked forward a few frames, stopping when the woman looked straight at the camera. “Is that…?” Trip asked.

 

Skye looked at the picture of Raina, hair done neatly up, smiling as if she knew Skye were watching. “I think she’s our white rabbit,” Skye said.

 

“What does that mean?” he asked.

 

Skye stared at the face for a moment longer before turning to Trip. She was trying to ignore the uneasy feeling that had settled in her stomach. “It means we better be ready to take the red pill.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

_S.H.I.E.L.D. Safe House, Unclosed Location, Madripoor, Present Day_

 

It had been years since May had seen it, but the safe house was much like she remembered, filled with the same basic furniture, the same linoleum tile and shag carpet. She traced a line over the dresser sitting by the window, looking at the gray that had amassed on her finger. The only thing that was different was the dust that had collected to mark its disuse.

 

Making a decision, she shoved the window up, letting fresh air and light in with the sound of the traffic and people outside. She got a rag, wiping up as she considered how she wanted to proceed. She had gotten an invitation, that was true, but people didn’t just walk up to Jessen Hoan, especially unprepared. Messing with her was dangerous, and it had gotten more than one person killed in the past.

 

She closed her eyes. Maybe this was the wrong place to have chosen to stay. She liked it because it was quiet and out of the way, hadn’t required her to leave the kind of trail that purchasing a room somewhere would have.

 

It felt odd to be here. The feeling wasn’t nostalgia, not exactly. It was more like a residual energy that had remained, as if the past had made a mark on the place, created a haunting. She could see everything that had happened in its walls as clearly as if it were playing on a screen.

 

It was that night twelve years ago. She had been keeping watch by the window, but rain had been hitting the glass hard, obscuring her view of outside. Maria had sat beside the bed, hair dripping onto her already damp clothes, watching over the unregistered passed out on the covers as she struggled to hold herself together. She hadn’t asked for help. She hadn’t even tried to talk.

 

Maria had been a near stranger then, only a girl, but she hadn’t held herself like a girl. She’d held herself like someone who had lived for a hundred years and was preparing herself for another long hundred.

 

Looking back, it was hard to believe that something May had seen a thousand times in a hundred different scenarios, something that while not insignificant was all too common in the field, could have made such an impression. Maybe it had been that Maria had only been twenty. Losing a partner was hard on agents who had been doing this for decades. Maybe it was because May had seen people cry, vent, or get angry. She’d seen people hurl blame at themselves or others, seen grown men slink off to be by themselves, break things in private, maybe drink themselves to sleep.

 

But Maria hadn’t gone to be by herself, there was still a mission to be done. She hadn’t drank. She hadn’t cried. The only thing that showed on her face was a resignation that belonged to someone with enough experience to know what the world was like, the ugly realities it had to offer, and had accepted it, even if she hadn’t found a way to be strong enough to bear it well.

 

It felt like that was the moment in which everything had begun, but what started that night had come and gone. Standing in the same spot where it had all happened, May knew it wasn’t just Maria who she was remembering. It was the person who had stood by the window and watched her, someone who had come and gone as well.

 

She shook her head. It didn’t matter. Instead of focusing on things that were over, she needed to focus on what she was doing now.

 

After she finished straightening up the small space, she hid the chip inside the lining of her boot, strategy already coming to her. May shut the window again, mind feeling clearer, as if by getting rid of the dust, she had wiped away the traces of the past. She knew that Coulson and the others would be looking for her, knew it would take them awhile, but she wanted to be done in Madripoor before that happened.

 

\---

 

It was widely known where Jessan Hoan could be found, but that didn’t mean it was easy to get a face to face meeting. The business card May had been given was her guarantee that she could have one, if she so chose.

 

Jessan might have been the wealthy manager of several branches of the Bank of Malaysia that were scattered throughout the city, but that wasn’t her primary business. They knew her as Tyger Tiger around Asia, and she had ties to almost anything that went on, legal or otherwise, which meant it was worth May’s time to see what she wanted and what she was willing to offer for it.

 

This time she hadn’t worn her sister’s clothes. These people weren’t stupid, they’d know she was S.H.I.E.L.D. even though she only wore a black shirt, black pants, and the sunglasses that at least partially let her look around without being obvious as she walked into the largest of the banks that Hoan managed.

 

There were security cameras everywhere, May knew, spotting a few of the more obvious ones. There were also security guards standing throughout the bank in crisp black suits, guns holstered at their sides, eyes looking nowhere in particular. In the upper stories of the bank would be Jessan’s personal bodyguards, with the kind of advanced training that would allow one of them to take down the whole set of guards on the ground floor without breaking a sweat.

 

If Jessan didn’t want May to come out of this meeting, then May would have a hard time doing anything about it. Which was why she’d planned for it beforehand, but if it was all the same, she’d rather not see how well she would manage the twenty-story drop to the ground.

 

She took a seat in the small sitting area for people waiting for personal bankers and checked her watch. She’d been here about two minutes, which meant that in another few minutes, whoever got sent to retrieve her would be coming out of the elevators to her south.

 

Some girl near the coffee machine seemed to be watching her, and May was trying to get a closer look at the girl when the elevators opened. A polished looking man stepped out, walking towards May and finally obscuring the woman from view. “Ms. Hoan has been expecting you.”

 

By the time she’d nodded and gotten to her feet, the girl had left. There had been something familiar about her, something that tugged on the edges of May’s memory. It was like Dr. Lim back in Singapore. There was something about Dr. Lim that May was still trying to figure out, something she needed to remember, but she couldn’t grab ahold of it. This girl, though, was a different story. She felt like if only she’d seen her face, she would have recognized what it was that was bothering her.

 

As May got into the elevator and turned around, she caught the girl again, leaving the bank, swish of long black hair covering her back. It brought back the dry feeling she’d had in her mouth. The girl who’d brought her water. Every muscle in May’s body wanted to run after the girl, but she made herself stay put. The elevator doors were already shutting, and no one skipped out on an appointment with Jessan Hoan.

 

_Princess Bar, Madripoor, Twelve Years Ago_

 

Agent Smith looked at home in the small bar, not the cleanest place Phil had ever seen, but he had to admit, if you wanted to see a good cross section of the city’s residents, this place would provide that. Leona was watching the stage show, a cabaret variant that made Phil raise his eyebrows once or twice, as she swung her foot to the music.

 

Agent Hill was leaned back against her chair, arms crossed, waving the waitress away every time she came by, glaring like she would have rather been doing anything else. She probably thought they should be working.

 

It amused Coulson more than anything. He leaned over to Blake. “Kind of uptight, isn’t she?”

 

Felix rolled his eyes. “Kids these days. What were we supposed to do, get off of the helicopter with a plan of action?”

 

May overheard that bit and laughed to herself. She would be the one laughing, Phil thought, seeing as she was the one who had occasionally done just that.

 

“Maybe,” Phil said. “But maybe she just wants us out of her hair.”

 

“We’re not bad,” he said. “We’re not overbearing. We’re not giving orders. Hell, if she wants to see bad, she should meet Fury. Especially when you’re trying to report back on why you didn’t complete a mission.”

 

“The man has a temper,” Coulson agreed. “Though it’s mostly quiet. I think because it’s more intimidating that way.”

 

May, who was openly watching the show herself, leaned over. “Are you two done gossiping?”

 

“I’m pretty sure that I’d only just started,” Blake said.

 

Coulson laughed.

 

“We could tell her that all work and no play makes Maria a dull girl,” Blake said, looking at the back of Agent Hill’s head again.

 

“You wouldn’t be saying that if she were a man,” May said. “Then you’d be using words like ‘dedicated’.”

 

Blake snorted. “I would too say it about a man. I use words for Fury like ‘stick up his ass’. People need to have fun sometimes, or else what else is there?”

 

“Oh, Fury has fun,” Coulson said. “Just not where you can see it.”

 

May shared a look with him, on the verge of laughing out loud, and he knew what she was thinking about. “He almost fired you,” he told her.

 

She shrugged before taking a drink of the beer she’d been nursing all night. “Maybe I’d take that job my mother always wants me to take.”

 

Leona glanced back, gave them a smile. She seemed to accept that the three of them were their own group. “I think I see someone,” she told them, getting up with another smile and heading towards a group of people who had arrived at the bar.

 

Maria shook her head, shooting disapproving glances at a couple of the people who had come. May looked back at them too. “S.H.I.E.L.D.?” she asked Maria.

 

“A couple of them.” She seemed to consider before she added, “We’re allowed to operate however the fuck we want out here.”

 

Some of the people in the group did look unsavory. Even the look on Blake’s face said he thought so, but the ones that Leona were talking to seemed to be the more clean cut ones. Probably friends she’d made at the Academy.

 

As if reading Coulson’s mind, Blake said, “So do they still do the Academy?”

 

“What do you mean ‘do they still do the Academy?’” Hill asked him, obviously annoyed by the question.

 

“I mean you’re like twenty. When did you go in?”

 

She gave him a dark look. “None of your business.”

 

“Where are you from?” Coulson asked to try to make it more conversational again.

 

“Chicago.”

 

He nodded. “Nice place.”

 

“Whatever you say.”

 

May, who had not been in the conversation, watching the stage instead of looking at any of them, glanced over. “Know how to use a rifle?”

 

The question took Maria off guard, for a moment the surprise showed on her face before she answered. “Of course.”

 

“Have a favorite?”

 

Maria shrugged. “I like the SPR when I have to use one.” She looked over at May with a begrudged curiosity. “They say you don’t carry a weapon when you go in.”

 

May had turned her eyes back to the stage. She didn’t like to talk about her reputation, though Coulson was never sure if it was because she thought she was just doing the job or if it was simply how private she was. “Still have to know how to use them,” she said.

 

Hill tried to turn away from the conversation too, but Coulson caught her a couple of times studying May out of the corner of her eye. If May noticed, she didn’t care enough to show it. He’d known May long enough to know that something about the conversation had turned her mind to more serious matters. May didn’t like mistakes, so if she were already planning how they were going to handle this situation, it wouldn’t be surprising.

 

When Leona got back, all smiles, from her meeting with the other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, the conversation had been dead for long enough that Phil had polished off another two drinks. “Did I miss anything?” she asked.

 

“Not a fucking thing,” Blake said moodily from where he was slumped against the back of his chair.

 

May gave him a look while she tried not to smile. “Should have watched the show.” She got to her feet. “If you will all excuse me, I have some work to do before morning.”

 

“It is morning,” Leona said to Coulson after May had gone.

 

“That’s just how she is,” Phil told her.

 

Maria was looking in the direction May had left, but she stayed where she was. Leona leaned down and whispered something to her. When Maria looked up at her, she said, “And you thought I wasn’t doing my job” before she got back into her seat, clapping as the dancers on stage came out with a new set of costumes.

 

_Top Floor, Bank of Malaysia, Madripoor, Present Day_

 

Jessan Hoan’s office was an open space full of light, decorated with glass and wood, antique ceramics and leafy plants. “I designed this office myself,” she told May, when she noticed May looking around the room. “The air is filtered by the plants. Did you know there are plants that filter the air more efficiently than others? It’s easier to breathe inside this room than anywhere else in the city.”

 

She sat on her desk, hands delicately going to rest on the edges to either side of her. “I’m not going to play around. I don’t have time to waste on games. You have something I want, and I want to know what I can offer you for it.”

 

May kept her expression impassive. “I can’t think of what I have that you would want.”

 

Jessan shook her head. “I told you. Let’s not be coy.” She got back to her feet, stepping carefully in her heels as she made a slow circle around May. “Melinda May, former agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., currently more or less a fugitive, but they aren’t trying hard yet, are they? You haven’t been spending a lot of time in your own country. You’ve been here. Taken, recently, from the accounts I’ve heard. In Singapore?”

 

“Do I need to go over your credentials?” May asked.

 

Jessan laughed. “I think it’s safe to say, Agent May, that everyone in this city knows my credentials.”

 

The chip was still in May’s boot, but she knew better than to do anything to give that away. She’d thought about leaving it in the safe house, but she couldn’t tell how long Jessan had been tracking her, or how well, and it seemed safer not to make assumptions.

 

“What you might not realize,” Jessan said, lifting the lid of a ceramic jar and looking inside, as if something might be hiding inside. She put it back down. “…is that H.Y.D.R.A. is a thorn in my side as well as yours. You think they took you, and I think you’re right. The difference is I don’t care why that is. Maybe they wanted to chat, maybe they wanted to take a look at your insides. That’s your business and theirs. What I want to know…” She circled back to her desk, picked up a pair of pruning scissors. “…is where they are hiding. There are too many of them in the city.” She took the scissors to an ornamental rose bush, the branch making a snapping sound. “You have to cut them off. Before they poison the whole system. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

 

“What I don’t understand,” May said, her tone even, “is how you expect me to help you with that.”

 

Jessan put the scissors back down on her desk. There was an edge to her voice now. “You have a chip that contains data about the location and whereabouts of several H.Y.D.R.A. cells in Eastern Asia as well as their suspected operations. Most of them I am sure we are aware of. However, most is not all, is it?”

 

“And what do you have to offer me in return?” May asked with a raised eyebrow. “I’m not looking for money.”

 

“Whatever you can think of.” Jessan sat carefully on her desk, seemingly calmer now the conversation had turned in the direction she’d wanted. “These people that took you, if you want to know more, you’d have everything I know, as well as all of the resources I have at my disposal to find out.”

 

“I think I can manage,” May told her.

 

“You need to think carefully about your position,” Jessan said. “As well as my position.” She watched May before picking up an ink pen. “Still, I will make you an offer, one that I consider very generous. Take another couple of days to consider my proposal. I have some business in Hong Kong to attend to. When I return, we can meet again, and you can tell me your decision.”

 

May decided not to respond, and Jessan gestured to one of her personal bodyguards, handing him one of her signature business cards. “See Ms. May outside. I’m done with her now.” She sat back on the other side of her desk in her chair, still wielding the ink pen, not looking up again as the man handed May the card. He put a hand on her shoulder to lead her back to the elevator. The only thing that made May feel better was thinking about breaking his fingers.

 


	4. Chapter 4

_Outskirts of Bangkok, Thailand, Present Day_

 

The air left Skye’s lungs as her back hit the floor. She closed her eyes, knowing it was over the moment she felt cold metal against her throat. “I don’t remember you saying anything about knives.”

 

Trip laughed as he pulled the blade back, getting up from where he was crouched over her. “I thought you weren’t into fighting fair.”

 

She glared at him, but the truth was that she’d been distracted ever since seeing Raina. Whatever that woman was doing here, tied to this whole situation, it couldn’t be a good thing. Sometimes thinking about her made a shiver crawl up Skye’s spine, and then something heavy would settle in her stomach. _It’s just a woman_ , she would remind herself. _Just flesh and blood and easily dealt with like anyone else_.

 

“Where’s your head at?” Trip asked, throwing her a rag. She wiped her face with it.

 

“Have you set up the travel arrangements to Hong Kong?” she asked instead of answering.

 

“Yeah, the boat will take us there in the morning.” He moved over, put his hand on her shoulder. “You might not want to talk right now, but when you do, remember you’re not in this alone. We’re all trying to find May. We’re all trying to deal with whatever is happening.”

 

She managed a small smile. “Thanks.” She took a deep breath. “Have we heard from Coulson?”

 

“Not yet.”

 

“Figures.”

 

“You’ve got to trust him a little,” Trip said. “The man has made mistakes, but he’s allowed a few bad decisions.”

 

Skye shook her head. “I’m not in the mood right now.”

 

They studied each other. “What are you in the mood for?” he asked. She’d stopped working on the laptop, finally giving herself that break, hesitant after finding out what she already had. Skye looked at the blank screen before shrugging.

 

“Let’s keep at it. I’m not injured yet.” She gave him a look, as if challenging him to question that, but Trip got to his feet instead. “Come on. Hand to hand. It’s useful. I know you think I need to learn how to use things, but I might get disarmed. Sometimes it’s just going to be me.”

 

“Sometimes it’s just going to be you,” Trip agreed. “Okay, hand to hand.”

 

His footing was better than hers, and that was immediately obvious from the first swipe he took at her. “Use your advantages,” he told her.

 

“And what are my advantages?” she asked, smiling as she managed to block him.

 

“You’re fast on your feet, could be faster, but more importantly, you’re smart, Skye. Use it. Outthink your opponent.”

 

“They can be smart too,” Skye said. She was thinking about Ian Quinn.

 

“Then be strategic.”

 

Strategic. She might be able to do that. “So think about it like a chess game?”

 

“If that helps,” he said. “Not much of a chess man though.”

 

She tried to go for his side, and he got the top of her arm hard with the side of his hand. Skye dropped to roll away from him before he could hit her again. “Why do I have a feeling you’d play something like _Risk_?”

 

“I play cards.” He said. “It’s about reading other people and using the hand you’re dealt.”

 

“Right.”

 

They stopped talking, as if making a mutual decision to concentrate on sparring instead. Skye was having trouble. She could feel the sheer physical disadvantage she had against him, and he was coming at her too frequently for her to feel like she had time to try to assess the situation.

 

Then she was thinking about Ward, and Skye shook her head. Raina had brought it all back, that whole awful time and everything that had happened. She knew she still hadn’t processed it, that it all still bothered her, but she’d managed to stop thinking about it. At least until now.

 

Skye felt his hand on her arm before she felt herself being flipped to the floor again. She winced on impact, and he put his hands around her throat, not tightly. “So what would you do now?” he asked.

 

He had enough of his weight on her that she couldn’t move. The sheer helplessness of her position overwhelmed her. Her eyes stung, and Skye made herself swallow her pride for a moment, “Trip, I…” She needed to process, but what she needed to process, she didn’t know.

 

His hands moved to her shoulders. “Skye, look at me.”

 

She opened her eyes.

 

“You’re not there, you’re here, in Thailand, with me, and whatever is going on up there, for the moment, you’re safe from it, okay?”

 

“I’m not going to…”

 

“Repeat after me. For right now, you’re safe from it.”

 

“I’m safe from it.” The words were difficult, more than they should be.

 

“Take a deep breath.”

 

She did as she was instructed, closing her eyes again, feeling that sense of panic abating. His hands ran along the tops of her arms, and it was relaxing. Her hands moved up to his wrists. “I’m all right,” she said. They were touching in so many places, and why was she so aware that they were touching in so many places?

 

They hadn’t gotten a break. Not since S.H.I.E.L.D. had fallen apart. For a moment, though she knew it wasn’t fair, Skye blamed May. Not for being kidnapped, but for making this go on longer, because now they had to find her again, and they could have been working together. They could have been a team, but they hadn’t really been a team since Ward…

 

That wasn’t fair either, and Skye knew it.

 

She moved out from under Trip. “I’m sorry.” She wanted to be touching again, but it made her feel like a little child who needed comforting.

 

“Be embarrassed, if that’s how you’re going to feel, Skye, but don’t be sorry. You act like you can’t take anything from anyone, and that’s fine. That’s how a lot of people operate, but… it’s not how I operate, and I don’t want you apologizing for something that doesn’t bother me. It bothers you.”

 

“Who have I ever had available to take anything from?” she asked, feeling angry, at herself or at Trip, she wasn’t sure.

 

“Your team, Skye. You’ve had your team.”

 

“Yeah, Ward who was H.Y.D.R.A. and May who can’t…” She had her hand in the air, and she let it drop. “May who doesn’t know how to let anyone else be involved with her. Coulson can’t even see past this whole S.H.I.E.L.D. thing that happened, and…”

 

“And me and Simmons and Fitz?”

 

Skye thought about Simmons and Fitz. “I don’t feel comfortable, okay? I’m afraid I’m going to ruin them somehow.” The words had come out before she thought about them, and now she wondered why she’d said them.

 

“And me?” he asked again.

 

Skye looked at him and shrugged. It seemed odd that she could suddenly have all of these feelings she didn’t even know had been there, waiting. She wanted them to go back to where they had been. “I know you’re not Ward, and I’m not scared that you’re going to turn into him, but…” She knew what came next, but the thought of saying it made her feel sick to her stomach. “I thought I might be interested in him, a little, once, and now I can’t stand that I felt that way.” There was the anger, and that was where it probably deserved to go. “And I hate him for it. I hate him for that more than anything else.”

 

In the quiet of the room was the next obvious question, one that Skye was achingly grateful that Trip didn’t ask. He walked over to her.

 

“Skye,” he said softly.

 

She looked up at him.

 

“There might be a lot of ways I’m going to make you feel. Angry, pissed off even, but I promise that it won’t ever be a reason to hate yourself, all right?”

 

“That’s not the kind of thing I’m talking about,” she said, turning her eyes back to the floor.

 

“I know.”

 

She risked a glance back up. “I’m not saying it’s a big deal either, I mean… because it’s not.” She shrugged.

 

“Either way, I think we’re done with your training for today. It’s our last night in Thailand. What do you want to do?”

 

Making a decision, Skye stepped closer, pulling one of his hands to her waist, draping her other arm around his neck. “Do you think you can keep this casual?” she asked, looking him straight in the eyes.

 

Trip looked at her as if he were trying to decide the answer to that question himself. He nodded. “Not sure it’s a good idea though.”

 

“So you don’t want to?” she asked, but when she tried to pull away a little, he held onto her.

 

“Skye, believe me, it’s not that.”

 

That made her smile. “Then if it’s a bad decision…” she said. “Maybe we could worry about that later?”

 

It made him smile, too, but one that looked too serious to be quite happy. “Yeah, later,” he said, but when he lowered his mouth to hers, Skye was too glad for the distraction to wonder what might make it a bad idea.

 

_The Bus, International Air Space, Present Day_

 

“Cool plane,” Claire said, nodding as she ran her hand over different surfaces. “Does it have something extra cool like a bowling alley?”

 

“On a plane?” Fitz asked her.

 

“I guess that would be a bad idea,” she agreed. “You could manage laser tag though.”

 

“All right, Ms. Wise, if you don’t mind,” Coulson said, gesturing to a chair, “we need to iron out the details of what we’re going to be doing once we get to Madripoor.”

 

“Oh. That.” She got into the chair and crossed her legs. “Well, I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I’m not a super great bank robber person?”

 

“Believe me. I know,” Coulson told her.

 

“Oh.” She frowned. “Is that what Felix told you? Because I actually did some fine work for him before the whole H.Y.D.R.A. thing happened.”

 

“And what kind of work was that?” Simmons asked.

 

“Classified,” she said. She noticed the three skeptical looks she was getting, then amended, “Classified… coffee orders?”

 

“Classified coffee orders,” Fitz repeated.

 

“You wouldn’t want to know what Agent Sitwell likes in his coffee. Definite reason that guy was evil.”

 

“How do you even know about Sitwell?” Coulson asked.

 

“Felix told me. Total gossip. Can’t believe he was employed by any kind of government agency. Though he told me to keep my mouth shut, blah blah government secrets, blah blah his credibility, but come on. Did that guy really have any credibility left?”

 

“He was a good agent,” Phil said. “But yeah, we never told him anything.”

 

“And he hated that,” Claire said, pointing at Coulson. “He knew, and he hated that.” She shifted on her chair. “So wait, am I getting that weapon back? Because Benny was the one that was good at it, but I could give it a shot.”

 

“No. Ms. Wise--”

 

“Agent Wise.”

 

“Agent Wise.” He gave her a brief smile. “You’re not going to be robbing a bank.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“You’re just going to be walking into one.”

 

“And what does that do?” she asked.

 

“We’re trying to get in contact with someone in Madripoor. She keeps records of all known, and in your case, unknown bank robbers, and the ones who step into her bank…” Coulson thought about a more approachable way to say what he needed.

 

“She’s going to interrogate you,” Fitz finished.

 

“Wait, what? Interrogate me? Like ask me questions?” Claire asked, looking a little uneasy in her chair.

 

“It should just be questions,” Coulson assured her.

 

“Should be? As in it might not just be questions?” Claire’s eyes were wide. “I don’t know what Felix told you, but I’m not trained for this kind of thing. I cry when I break a nail.”

 

“You went into several banks armed with a Chitauri weapon. I think you can handle this,” Phil told her.

 

“Benny had the weapon,” she said.

 

He knelt down so that he was closer to being on level with her. “I know that you signed up with the agency because you wanted to do something important, something meaningful, and right now, this is your opportunity to actually get to do that.”

 

“Important?” she asked.

 

He nodded. “We might even end up taking out a few members of H.Y.D.R.A. What do you say?”

 

“Well, I guess I could do it. I mean, you pretty much just need me to deliver a message, right?”

 

He nodded. “That’s all this is. Delivering a message.”

 

“I think I can do that.” She nodded back. “Felix never let me do real agent work. He said that it was too dangerous, but hey, I robbed banks! I can do this!”

 

Simmons smiled in a way that said she plainly did not agree.

 

“We should probably start going over those plans,” Fitz said. “Especially since we can only leave the plane on autopilot for so long.”

 

“It will be fine,” Coulson said.

 

“It’s better when you don’t have to say that so much,” Simmons told him.

 

He gave her a look and then got back to his feet. “Too much time with Skye,” he told her again.

 

“What does that even mean?” she asked Coulson.

 

Claire got to her feet. “Not quite sure, but I think it means you’re being annoying.”

 

“I should have gone to Thailand,” Simmons said.

 

“Stop pouting, Jemma. You weren’t even invited to Thailand,” Fitz said.

 

She made a face at him.

 

“If you two are done, we do have quite a bit to do before we land in Madripoor,” Coulson said.

 

“We’re done,” Simmons said.

 

“Good.” He was a little concerned, but he didn’t want to tell them that. Not about Jessan Hoan, with her track record, Claire should be fine. The girl wouldn’t seem like much of a threat. He just hoped that once she got his message, she’d agree to meet with him.

 

No, it was Madripoor itself that worried Coulson. If someone had been targeting the team, there was a good chance that they had at least a few contacts in Madripoor.

 

He hoped that the information they would get from Jessan would be worth it, because as much as he wanted to find May, if he was wrong about Jessan, it wasn’t just Claire Wise that would be in danger. It would be the whole team.

 

_S.H.I.E.L.D. Operations Base, Madripoor, Twelve Years Ago_

 

“You’re sure that he’s going to be at the warehouse?” Melinda asked Leona again.

 

Leona nodded. “Absolutely sure of it.”

 

She turned towards Agent Hill. “You trust the information?”

 

Maria seemed surprised to be asked. “Sure. Agent Smith’s intel has been reliable in the past.”

 

May shared a look with Coulson and Blake. Blake shrugged. “Seems as good a plan as any.”

 

Coulson was thinking harder about it. “It’s an enclosed area. Not well lit. It would be easy for us to be ambushed.”

 

“Not if they don’t know we’re coming,” Blake said.

 

“How do we know they aren’t expecting us to?” May asked.

 

“I think the point that’s being missed here,” Leona said. “Is what other options do we have? He’s usually with a lot of highly trained soldiers, and whatever skills we all might have, we’re just five people. Five people, I might add, without the kind of weaponry we’d be going up against.” She leaned forward in her chair. “This is a secret operation, a simple arms deal. They don’t want to take too many people, because that would make it harder to keep things quiet. There are several organizations, criminal and otherwise, in Madripoor who would be interested in such a transaction, and if one of them caught wind, then… well, Roche is only intimidating if you’re not another crime lord.”

 

“The woman has a point,” Blake said, waving his hand at Leona.

 

“It’s not the only point,” May said.

 

“We have two days. Let’s scope the place out,” Maria said. “They can’t ambush us if we’re there before they are.”

 

Melinda studied her then glanced at Leona. “You said the warehouse is in use. When are people there?”

 

“Officially? Maybe from eight in the morning to eight at night?” Leona said. She shrugged one shoulder. “It’s used to store freight, most of it illegal, but they have enough police paid off, they don’t need to worry about when it comes in.”

 

“See if you can’t get a list of expected shipments then.”

 

Leona nodded. “I should know someone I can ask.”

 

“I’m going to need an inventory of what equipment we have at our disposal,” she told Maria.

 

Maria nodded. “I can manage that. I might be able to see what we can pull from the operations base in Singapore if we need.”

 

“Night vision goggles?” Coulson asked.

 

“We have a few.”

 

May waited until the two younger agents had left before she told Coulson, “I don’t like it.”

 

“What are we supposed to do, May?” Blake asked. “Go home and tell Fury it was too hard, so we gave up?”

 

“He’s right,” Coulson said. “We need to get this done, however we accomplish it.”

 

May shook her head. “Maybe you’re right.”

 

“We knew it was going to be dangerous.” Phil traced a groove in the table with his finger. “But we’ll trust your judgment. You’re giving the orders on this one.”

 

She looked at him, but then she looked into the distance, calculating something in her head. “I can’t think of how to do it without sending them in.” She sighed. “They’re too green.”

 

“They’re fully trained field agents. They know the drill,” Blake said.

 

“You need experience for something like this,” May said. “More experience than they have.”

 

“We were all young once,” Coulson said. “And we all had to do things like this.”

 

She sighed. “Doesn’t matter. We don’t have a choice.” She shook her head again, hands on her hips. “When we get back, I’m having a long talk with Fury.”

 

“Good luck with that,” Blake said, resting his arms behind his head. “Make sure to tell him I want a hotel with a mini bar next time.”

 

May sat down, and on cue, Coulson and Blake sat up in their chairs. “So we’re doing this?” Blake asked.

 

She nodded. “So let’s go over our plans. There’s not going to be a lot of room for mistakes.”

 

“There never is,” Coulson said.

 

She looked at him. “But this time, Phil, I mean it. We need everything to go perfectly.”

 

_S.H.I.E.L.D. Safe House, Unclosed Location, Madripoor, Present Day_

 

She could sense the disturbance the moment she started to open the door, and May hesitated, trying to gauge if Jessan’s people might have known about the safe house after all. She swung the door open fast, ready for anyone who might be in the small space.

 

“Expecting someone?” Maria sat in a chair by the window, feet propped up on a low dresser with a gun in her lap, looking bored. “I could tell as soon as I got here that someone else had been here. I figured it was you, but...”

 

“Maria.” She felt exasperated. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I’m not looking for you, if that’s what you mean.” She took her feet down. “I expect I came to this place for the same reason you did. It’s low profile, leaves no records, and no one uses it anymore. Not since S.H.I.E.L.D. made that deal with Jessan Hoan to shut down its operations in Madripoor.”

 

“That’s not what I meant.” May crossed her arms. “Why are you in Madripoor?”

 

“I had a couple of things to take care of. Thought I’d pay my respects.” A small pang of something crossed Maria’s face, leaving as soon as it had appeared. “Don’t worry. I won’t be in your way.”

 

“There are other safe houses in Madripoor.”

 

“Not all of them are still safe.” Maria looked around the room, breathing out, and then her gaze landed back on May. “Besides, I was always partial to this one.”

 

More memories flashed through May’s mind, and she tried to ignore them. She was trying to decide if she should leave, but this was her best option. This place had been set up long ago by Fury’s father, which meant that it was better protected. “You’re sleeping on the couch.”

 

“Seems like I’ve heard that before.”

 

“Don’t.”

 

At the warning in May’s voice, Maria sobered up. “Don’t worry. I won’t.” She sighed. “I know the rules as well as you do.” She got to her feet, grabbed a bottle of water from a duffel bag that was resting in the corner.

 

May watched her drink. She was holding herself more carefully than May appreciated. “You’re still injured.”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

They stared at each other, waiting to see whether May would push the conversation farther. She didn’t. “Since you’re here, maybe you could tell me what you wouldn’t before.”

 

“Who said there was anything?” Maria asked.

 

“You wouldn’t be here if there wasn’t.”

 

“I told you, I’m paying my respects.” Maria sat on the bed, crossed her legs.

 

“And I’m here for the scenery.”

 

That made Maria smile. “You could do worse.”

 

May sighed. She could almost see what Jessan Hoan had meant about not playing games, though they had been playing a game in that office, one whose clarity was meant to mask its subtlety.

 

Still, her eyes drifted over Maria’s body. Maria noticed, she knew, but declined to comment. Instead she said, “So what do you say, May? Think we can share?”

 

“Do what you want,” May told her, done with the conversation. She had to figure out how to get what she wanted from Jessan Hoan without giving up the chip. Or else get the information from the chip before she had to turn it over.

 

Maria was staring at the bed she was on, lost in her thoughts now that she’d stopped trying to get a rise out of May. Whether she saw the same things that May had seen earlier, May couldn’t guess, but from the look on Maria’s face, it was something close to that. She got up, as if making a decision. “Be careful,” she told May. “This city tends to be full of ghosts.”

 

What she’d meant, May could only guess. Maria had grabbed her gun, tucked it into the back of her pants and was out the door without another word.

 

May thought about following her, see if she could figure out what Maria was up to, but though she might be able to trail Maria, doing it without Maria noticing would be too difficult. At least in Madripoor.

 

She glanced at the duffel bag but decided against it. Let Maria operate on her own. She wasn’t the only source of information available.

 


	5. Chapter 5

It was sometime late into the night when Maria came back in. May could hear her stashing her gun before pulling off her shoes. She could see Maria’s silhouette against the light from the street as she stripped off her shirt, took off her bra, and then pulled the shirt back over her head. She took a pill from the duffel bag, swallowing it without water before dropping the bottle back.

 

There was no indication of where she’d been other than the faint smell of cigarette smoke that had come in with her.

 

May had thrown a threadbare pillow and a blanket onto the couch, and Maria dropped onto them without much fanfare. She’d never had trouble sleeping wherever she needed to, so it didn’t surprise May that she didn’t hear much movement after that.

 

May listened to the hushed sounds of insects and the occasional noise from outside, people talking or a car passing by. There wasn’t much to the walls. Somewhere in the building someone was arguing on the phone. Somewhere else a television. Earlier there had been more, but now it was reduced down to those few nocturnal residents who were still awake.

 

It made her more aware of Maria, seven years of absence not doing enough to lessen the fact that she had once spent nights listening to Maria’s breathing. May could lean towards the nocturnal herself, and back then the steadiness of Maria sleeping beside her had occasionally allowed her to drift to sleep when something was bothering her.

 

There were too many things to think about tonight, and Maria was more of a distraction than a comfort.

 

Jessan Hoan was her best bet about getting the information she wanted, which meant she needed the chip decoded and loaded onto something else, preferably a flash drive. Skye could have done it, no problem. May was sure that the team was trying to track her down. How successful they were being, she had no idea, only she’d been careful enough that it wasn’t going to be easy. It would be useful to have a team that actually listened when she said she wanted to do something alone, but it would also be useful to have an ex-wife who understood what it meant to be divorced, neither of which she had, so May guessed she’d have to make do.

 

She dozed off lightly until sometime in the morning when the light started coming in through the outlines of the shaded window. Tomorrow Jessan Hoan wanted to meet, which meant that today she needed to get this technology problem solved.

 

May took a quick shower before giving herself time to go through some of her usual morning routine, watching as the sunlight grew brighter and the noises outside increased back to the full din of day to day life. It was calming, in a way, to bring herself back towards something normal. It made her come face to face with how much her life had shifted since the events of Singapore.

 

After her muscles felt relaxed and her mind was more centered, May sat at the room’s small table, peeling an apple with a knife and eating chunks of it while she waited for Maria to wake up. May thought about waking her a couple of times, but it was Maria. She’d wake up soon enough.

 

As expected, it wasn’t even mid-morning when Maria stirred, wincing as she sat up, still looking exhausted. She got to her feet, dug into the duffel bag for the bottle of pills, popped one from her palm into her mouth before she bothered saying, “What do you want, May?”

 

“You were in Madripoor for a while. Do you know anyone here who does tech?”

 

“What do you have that you need done?” she asked, running her fingers through her hair before sitting down on the couch and looking at May.

 

“Computer chip.”

 

“I might know someone. Not S.H.I.E.L.D. though.”

 

“Trustable?”

 

“Trustable enough, if you’re careful.”

 

It wasn’t what May had wanted to hear, but it was hardly surprising. They were in Madripoor. “Give me the name. You’re sure they’re not with H.Y.D.R.A.?”

 

“Can’t be sure about anything these days,” Maria said. She studied May for a moment. “Why aren’t you having Skye do it?”

 

“I’m here alone.”

 

That didn’t seem to surprise Maria. “Then this is probably your best bet. There are a lot of bad things to be said about free agents, but around here, most everyone else is in someone’s pocket.” She got to her feet, grabbing a pen. When she was done, May had an alias and an address in her hand. “Mention my name. He owes me for something.”

 

“X86?”

 

“Don’t know his real name.”

 

May refrained from rolling her eyes. Tech people were all the same. “Thanks.”

 

“Sure.”

 

Maria wandered back to her duffel bag, pulling out clothes. Her shirt clung to her skin, showing the contours of her toned muscles. She’d kept her body up, and though May had known this subconsciously, it was the first time she’d bothered to notice it in a while. She also noticed the slight hesitation to some of Maria’s movements. “When are you going to see a doctor?” May asked.

 

“When I can get to one,” Maria said. “It’s not like Adlina’s around here anymore.”

 

May vaguely recalled the S.H.I.E.L.D. doctor who had once stitched up a nasty gash in her leg from a piece of shrapnel in Bangladesh. She looked sharply at Maria. “Adlina’s surname, what was it?”

 

“Lim. Why?”

 

“What ever happened to her?” May asked.

 

“She died. It was a shooting. She’d been helping someone on the street when members of a rival crime lord shot her down.” Maria left her clothes to turn to May. “What’s going on?”

 

May got to her feet. “Nothing you need to be concerned about.” She stopped. “When you said last night that this was a city of ghosts, what did you mean?”

 

“I was being sentimental.”

 

“Didn’t peg you for the sentimental type,” May said. “Whatever is going on here, have you stopped to consider that maybe you’re going to need help?”

 

Maria smiled. “Is that an offer?”

 

“It might be.”

 

“I didn’t think you’d work with me.” Maria gathered up her clothes again, looked at May. “Has that really changed?”

 

“Depends, are we working together, or is working with you going to be like working with Fury?”

 

“I’m not Fury.”

 

“You keep secrets like he does.”

 

Maria held her clothes, didn’t look at May. She was holding her jaw tightly. “There are things I can’t tell you.” She shrugged. “And then there are things I don’t want you to know.” With that, she walked to the bathroom, and May knew the shut door was her answer.

 

_Hong Leong Bank Berhad, Hong Kong, Present Day_

 

Nothing seemed remarkable about the bank to Skye, it consisted of an upper floor in a tall building surrounded by other similar buildings, but maybe that was the point. Maybe what Raina and whatever branch of H.Y.D.R.A., or whomever she was working with, wanted was unremarkable.

 

“Do you see anything?” Trip asked, voice low so that only Skye could hear him.

 

“Not really, but I didn’t think she’d still be around.” Skye checked near the ceiling for cameras. What she needed was access to their network, something that sounded easy, in theory, but was going to require her to gain access to one of the computers. “Do you think they’d believe I’m here to sign up for a checking account?”

 

“More than they’d believe it from me.”

 

She took his hand, telling herself it was a part of their cover, some young couple in a bank, which made sense, except doing it had nothing to do with Trip or their cover. Skye felt uneasy in the crowd of people, as if at any moment she would find out this was a trap, and suddenly they would find themselves surrounded. Telling herself that she was being paranoid would be easier if Raina being in this bank hadn’t been linked to what had happened to May in Singapore.

 

She stuck her other hand in her pocket, rolling around the small flash drive that she planned on using. It was tempting to tell herself that she could get this information -- account numbers and names of holders and transaction records-- without being in the bank, but the truth was that Skye would save herself days of trying to get through their security and firewalls by doing it from inside their system. These people felt close, right in her reach, and maybe if she could find them, then she could prove to May she was useful enough to have around. Maybe they could be a team again.

 

Or maybe what was happening was allowing them to delay facing what the world was like now. When this was done, what they would really have left waiting for them? Maybe their situation was worse than Skye wanted to believe, and when they were done finding May…

 

Right now she didn’t need to think about it. Right now she needed to be brave. She let go of Trip’s hand. “Wait for me. I’ll be right back.”

 

Skye walked up to the counter. “Excuse me,” she said with a smile. “I was thinking about opening an account.”

 

The teller gave her a hesitant smile, then pointed to a chair. “Take a seat. Someone will be with you.”

 

Skye thanked her and went to sit in the chair. She noticed Trip was still checking out the entrance, making sure no one they knew came through, while he tried to look unobtrusive. She pretended to check her phone, but instead she was seeing how far she could get into their system now that she was on their wireless network.

 

“Hello, Miss. They said you were thinking about an account?” The gentleman who had come to assist her looked to be in his thirties.

 

Skye nodded at him.

 

“Right this way.”

 

She scoped out his computer as they went inside his cubicle. “I’m American. Is that a problem?” she asked.

 

“Are you living in Hong Kong?” he asked.

 

“Yeah. For a while.” The tower was under the desk, which might help her.

 

“What brings you here?”

 

She could pretend to drop something, but the computer would give away her plugging in the hard drive, so she’d need him to look away. “I’m, umm… looking for my mother, actually.”

 

“Your mother was from China?” he asked. They had both sat down now, and Skye gave him a smile.

 

“That’s what I was told.” She smiled again. “Do you happen to have some… bottled water or something? I’m really thirsty.”

 

“Yes, hold on.” He got up from the computer. Skye watched him leave, glancing around to make sure no one else was looking before she dove for the tower, sticking the hard drive in and waiting until the computer had loaded it before grabbing it back out and sitting in her chair again.

 

She’d put together the excuse she was going to use to leave when the banker returned, but before she could speak he handed her an envelope. “I think you’ll find that concludes your business,” he said. He sat the bottle of water down on the desk in front of her.

 

Skye held the envelope, watching him as if he might do something else, reach out and grab her for example, but he took a seat, looking up something in the computer before he made a call and started speaking in Cantonese.

 

Skye walked back towards Trip, trying to look steady and unbothered. She glanced down at the envelope, trembling hand making it seem to vibrate.

 

“What is it?” he asked as soon as she got close enough.

 

“They saw us coming,” she said under her breath, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the door. The walls were too close, they were too high up off the ground, and what bothered Skye most was that she knew she was safe. Whatever they wanted with her, they’d felt confident enough to take their time. To bait her into coming here. She glanced back at Trip, trying not to hear the sound of her heart thumping in her ears. “They wanted us to come.”

 

_Palace Hotel, Madripoor, Present Day_

 

“I’ve never been to Asia before,” Claire said. “Benny always wanted to see Tokyo, but we never had the money, and then we did, but then the money was blown up, and then we were trying to live on a government salary. Then H.Y.D.R.A. took over, and so then we were unemployed…”

 

“Does it ever stop?” Fitz asked Simmons.

 

“It has to, right?” she whispered back.

 

They were in the elevator, watching the numbers go up as they listened to Claire.

 

“Word of advice, you might want to not to mention names like H.Y.D.R.A. around here,” Coulson said.

 

“Oh right.” She smiled and nodded her head. “I get it. This is legitimately covert. Do we have a cover story?”

 

“I have a cover story,” Fitz said. “The cover story is we are here to get revenge on the people who cut out your tongue, so you’re unfortunately no longer able to speak.”

 

“Why would they cut out my tongue?” Claire asked. She looked at Simmons. “Is he always this moody?”

 

“Pretty much,” Simmons said. She noticed the look Fitz was giving her. “You are rather moody.”

 

“Must be some kind of male menstrual cycle thing. I read something online about it once.” Claire nodded to herself. “I have some Midol in my bag.” She pointed to her bag to emphasize.

 

“No thanks,” he said. “And I am not moody. Maybe a little hypoglycemic at times, but not moody.”

 

Simmons gave him a smile. “Sure, Fitz.”

 

They had left the Bus outside of Madripoor in a more discreet, secure location. Coulson had only gotten them a single room, one with two queen sized beds, and Claire flopped down on one. “So tomorrow is when this all goes down?” she asked.

 

“Probably the day after,” Coulson said. “I need to talk to a few people. See what they know.”

 

“That gives us time to explore the city then,” Claire said. “What is there to do around here? Do they have sushi?”

 

“You’re all going to stay in the hotel room while I take care of some business,” Coulson told them. “If you need to get into contact with me, then use the comm system, but only if it’s an emergency.”

 

“Wait, we’re going to be stuck in the room all day?” Fitz asked. “How are we supposed to entertain ourselves?”

 

“Order a movie on the television. They’re sure to have something in English. Just ignore the Chinese at the bottom.” He put on his watch, and he could hear the three of them starting to argue about what to watch before the door had even clicked shut.

 

The woman waiting for him in the hotel restaurant didn’t seem too pleased to see him.

 

“Ling-Yu. Hope you’ve been well.”

 

“What do you need, Phil?” she asked, taking a drink of the white wine she’d ordered. “Felix didn’t send you, did he?”

 

“No, but he sends his regards.”

 

“I’m sure he does.” She seemed to assess Phil. “Enough about him then. What do you need from me? I haven’t seen or heard from you for at least a decade.”

 

“I’m needing to get into contact with Jessan Hoan. You’re in the city; you work in the government. Is there anything I should know before I go in?”

 

“I was glad when S.H.I.E.L.D. agreed to leave the city,” Ling-Yu said. “I was hoping it meant that I would never have to see any of you again.”

 

“To Felix’s credit, he was sorry.”

 

“Sorry isn’t an appropriate word for a man who cheats on his wife. It’s barely an appropriate one for a man who drags her to America in the first place.” She waved her hand. “But you’re right, that’s in the past. Jessan Hoan? She’s fighting for power right now.”

 

“Who could stand up to her?”

 

She glanced around the restaurant, then, deciding no one else was around, settled back. “The city is changing. When S.H.I.E.L.D. helped Jessan take power, it curbed a lot of the instability. We grew quite a bit economically. It didn’t mean that the people who used to be in power stopped trying to amass it.” She tilted her head at him. “You know the newest threat though. It’s one that S.H.I.E.L.D. helped release.”

 

“H.Y.D.R.A.?” he asked.

 

“Yes. Things have been slipping slowly away from Jessan Hoan for years, but H.Y.D.R.A. is changing this city. She’s worried. It’s not a good time to get involved with her.” She smiled. “She’ll kill you, and she won’t lose sleep over it.”

 

“If there are so many hard feelings, why meet me today?” Coulson asked.

 

“I might hate Felix,” she said, grabbing her purse and getting up. “It doesn’t mean I want your blood on my hands.” There was a receipt for where she’d already paid for the wine. She paused. “I mean it, Phil. It’s not a good time to be in Madripoor.”

 

“Seems like I hear that each time I come.”

 

“When someone here tells you that, it’s usually a good idea to listen. We know what we’re talking about. We live with our ears to the ground.” She turned then, and he watched her leave in her prim cream-colored suit, heels clicking on the floor.

 

_S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters, Madripoor, Twelve Years Ago_

 

They had drawn up a map of the warehouse. “Tomorrow, we go in,” May said, “around nineteen hundred, behind the last shipment of the day.” She glanced at the faces around the room. “Coulson, you watch from the outside, make sure nothing surprises us. Blake, you’re going to standby with the SUV, because these warehouses are too far apart to afford us much cover once we need to leave.

 

She took a deep breath. “Agent Hill and Agent Smith, you’re coming into the warehouse with me. We’ll wait from our designated positions once we’re inside. This ambush depends a lot on the element of surprise, and if we’re compromised somehow, I can’t promise that I can get you out safely.”

 

She looked up at them to appraise their reactions. Leona looked unfazed. “Let’s do this,” she said.

 

Maria looked straight at her. “You take care of you, and I’ll take care of myself.”

 

May squared her shoulders. “Then like Agent Smith said, let’s do this.” It was one time when she was going in with a gun; they needed the element of surprise too much for her to hold back. She’d rather make sure she got these girls out safely.

 

When the others had cleared the room, Maria still stood there, hands behind her back. “Doesn’t it seem suspicious?”

 

“If you’re asking if I trust the situation, Agent Hill,” May said, looking over the map again, “I don’t. But as your partner stated, there’s not much chance of getting at Kato otherwise, and if there was, it would probably be equally dangerous.”

 

“Why does S.H.I.E.L.D. need to get to Kato?” she asked. “Why not just take him out so that he’s not a threat?”

 

“Besides the fact that he’s a person?” May looked at her. “It’s not our business to question policy. Fury has his reasons, and he’s the one that has to live with those choices. We simply follow orders.”

 

“Do you really believe that?” The question was asked impersonally, as if Hill were simply asking her superior officer a basic training question.

 

“No, but it’s part of the job.”

 

“What I don’t get,” Maria said, “is why they are taking Kato at all.” With that, she dismissed herself from the room. It was clear that she was going to show up later for the operation, that she had no problem following orders, but it was equally clear she had no problem questioning her orders at the same time.

 

May frowned. Hill was right. Something was off about the situation. She couldn’t justify calling off a mission on instinct alone, though, and she had no reason not to go forward other than her gut feeling about it.

 


	6. Chapter 6

_Palace Hotel, Madripoor, Present Day_

 

Jemma had left to get some ice for their room, and Fitz had casually followed her out into the hall. “She’s… something,” he said. Simmons stopped to give him a questioning glance. “Claire,” he amended, pointing back.

 

“She is something else,” Simmons agreed, nodding absently.

 

“So when are we going to talk, Jemma?”

 

She gave him a smile that seemed a little tense around the edges. “About what?”

 

“About the fact that I told you how I felt about you, and we haven’t said a word about it since.”

 

“Oh. That.” She sighed and turned around. “I don’t know, Fitz. Everything has been so confusing, and I don’t think it’s really time to be talking or making decisions about those kind of things, do you?”

 

“When then? All of us keep nearly dying, and we act like we have all of the time in the world to… I don’t know, live our lives. Isn’t there ever going to be more than the job, Jemma?”

 

She gave him a look with a fond kind of pity to it. “There is. And there will be time. I’m sure we’ll sort out this situation with Agent May, and then-”

 

“Then we’re bloody fugitives, that’s what’s waiting for us. There is nothing on the other side of this. There are no happy endings. There’s only us and H.Y.D.R.A., and don’t tell me that sometimes you don’t think we’re going to lose.”

 

Simmons was going to respond when Claire came out of the room. “Are you guys going to the vending machine too? Do they have Coke here, or is it the Asian kind of stuff? Do you think they have anything lemon-lime flavored?”

 

“I’m not even sure they have a vending machine,” Simmons said. “It is a hotel.”

 

“Oh. Do you think Coulson would mind if I broke into the mini bar?”

 

“Can’t you see we were having a conversation here?” Fitz asked her.

 

“We really shouldn’t be standing out in the hallway having this particular conversation, Fitz,” Simmons said. “I have the ice now. Let’s go back inside and wait, like Coulson said.”

 

Claire gave Fitz a look that said, _see_ , before she offered to help Simmons carry the ice. Fitz sighed and followed them back to the room.

 

\---

 

Coulson sighed as he watched the main Bank of Malaysia branch, hands in his pockets as he tried to think over what he was doing. He had no idea if Melinda were even still in Asia.

 

The team had managed to form a makeshift secure line with two cell phones, not a perfect one, but one that would do for brief calls spread out over time. That was why he hadn’t called Skye yet, but now that he was in Madripoor, it was useful to see if she’d turned up any information on her side.

 

He walked to the other side of the square, finding a nice bench beneath a tall plant, enough people around that the phone signal wouldn’t be too isolated. When someone answered, it was Trip’s voice on the other end. “Weather still good?” he asked.

 

“Clear here, though we might see some rain tomorrow morning. Nothing an umbrella can’t handle.”

 

“Think we might have a storm coming in over here.”

 

Coulson tried not to change his body posture or expression, but that piece of information was interesting. “Anything to be worried about?”

 

“Hard to tell. You in the States?”

 

“Decided to take a trip.”

 

“Us too.”

 

“Tell her to email me. I’d like to hear from her.” He didn’t exactly mean email, but Skye would know that.

 

“Will do.” Trip paused. “I’m concerned.”

 

“About the weather?” Coulson asked.

 

“She might not have a good enough umbrella,” he said.

 

“She can handle it. Besides, after tomorrow, we should be able to meet up. See what’s happening with the weather then.”

 

“That soon?”

 

“Depends. I’ll email back.” With that, Coulson hung up the phone, pondering what was happening with Skye that had Trip concerned. He’d watched Skye handle a lot of things. He was going to have to trust that she was capable. Tapping the phone a few times in thought, Coulson put it back in his pocket and rose to his feet. He should get back to the hotel. There really was something about the weather that Coulson didn’t like.

 

_Motel, Hong Kong, Present Day_

 

“I wonder where they moved to,” Skye said, as she decided whether her encrypted message was, in fact, encrypted enough. She was sitting cross-legged on a standard motel bed that she was pretty sure had seen more action than she really wanted to think about.

 

“It might be good news,” Trip told her, running a few strands of her hair through his fingers. “Might mean they’ve made progress.”

 

“I wish I hadn’t been in the shower.” Skye looked over at Trip. “Whatever is happening, he needs to know about it.”

 

“What about May?”

 

She frowned at her laptop. “I don’t know. Somehow this is all connected, but I don’t know where she is or what she’s doing or how any of this relates to Singapore.” She sighed and shut the lid. “There’s been chatter online. Some big banker lady who is apparently involved with a lot of organized crime took a trip here right after Raina.”

 

“It could be a coincidence.”

 

“Yes, but if someone were funding Raina, then who better than someone like that?” Skye asked. “More importantly, whoever was involved in Singapore obviously had both money and resources. It could be this lady, Jessan Hoan.” She turned to look at him, half a smile on her face. “She goes by Tyger Tiger outside of her professional life. Sounds so English sophomore, ‘I know who some dead poet is’ of her.”

 

Trip chuckled at that. “So since you have all the theories, what’s our next move?”

 

She would have said the routing numbers, but they had let her have them, which meant that either they led to something they wanted her to find or they wouldn’t lead anywhere at all. The envelope and the fact that they had known she was going to be in Hong Kong seemed to suggest the former. “Stay here another few days, see if I can’t find anything out, but the only leads we have might be the ones they are giving us.”

 

“Doesn’t seem safe to trust their leads.”

 

“Which is why we’re going to meet back up with Coulson before we try anything else. Just a little investigating around here, then we find out his location and do the rest of the work from there.” She gave him a smile. “Don’t worry, I’m not like May. I’m not going to run off by myself. It’s good to have a team, and I’m going to use them.”

 

It was like he could see through her bravado, and he knew that she was still scared. Skye looked away from him before pushing herself off the bed. “I think right now, though, I’m going to take a walk. Try to clear my head.”

 

“Stay close.”

 

“I will.”

 

It had been raining throughout the evening, and the bright lights of the Hong Kong nightscape looked murky in the leftover haze. There was a light drizzle, moisture that Skye could feel against her face as she walked past the people who were still out, mostly couples looking for a cheap room like the one she was sharing with Trip. There were things that changed across cultures, and then there were things that didn’t.

 

Skye shook her head. She didn’t want to think about Trip. She didn’t want to think about Ward or Raina or even May. What she found herself thinking was that this was the closest she’d ever been to her parents. She wasn’t sure who or what they might be, what that meant for her, and if she even wanted to know the truth waiting for her in those answers. Beneath those questions, though, was something simple, some lonely part of her that wanted to have parents. A home. A place to go to during the holidays. People who thought the best of her and believed in her, and when had the team stopped feeling like that?

 

She knew. Ward had destroyed that.

 

Skye knew it was mopey. She’d grown up with more than a few children without parents, and most of the ones that had them would have been better off without them. Some preferred not to go home for the holidays and some went, coming back each time a little less than they already were.

 

One possibility, one that she kept mentally circling around, was that her parents, whoever they were, could well have been monsters. She shivered, trying to shake off any sentimental feelings. They weren’t going to do her any good.

 

She decided to walk to the end of the street before she turned back. There were still enough people out that she felt decently safe, but that wouldn’t last forever. The people on the sidewalk were already thinning out, disappearing into different destinations, leaving the night to itself.

 

Skye had almost decided to head back when she stopped, noticing another monster walking casually towards her, umbrella hanging off of her arm. She thought about turning and running, but she stood her ground as Raina walked to her, looking as if she were doing nothing other than taking a stroll herself, an unconcerned smile on her face.

 

“It’s always nice to see you again, Skye,” Raina said. “You look like you’re doing well. Solving our puzzles. Did you like our message?”

 

The envelope from the bank had included several things, newspaper clippings, random patterns like those she’d seen in her dreams, and in brilliant calligraphy, black ink on white paper, _You are what you are._

 

She hadn’t had the stomach to look at the clippings. The patterns, which disturbed her the most, she had no clue about, but Skye hadn’t had to understand the entire contents of the envelope to know that it had been intended for her. “Our?”

 

Raina shrugged. “I have company. But you’ve already guessed that, haven’t you?” Raina started to walk, circling around Skye like she was looking over a horse that she was considering buying. “Don’t be mad, Skye. I’m doing this for you. Some for me, some for everyone, but mostly for you.” She reached out, index finger trailing Skye’s right cheek. It made Skye cringe. “You don’t even know. That’s what so sad. You don’t even know.”

 

“If I don’t know, then let me in,” Skye said. She might as well try to get information out of this. “Tell me what it is that I don’t know.”

 

“What you’re capable of. You don’t know what you’re capable of.” Raina reached into her coat pocket and drew out a handkerchief. Skye backed up. “Don’t worry. It’s just a gift.”

 

Skye’s heart was beating fast. When she looked around, there were no other people. It made it feel as if the whole world consisted of only her and Raina. Raina reached forward and took Skye’s hand, placing the object in the center of her palm before wrapping each finger around it. Raina held the hand between her own for a moment. “In case you ever want to find out.”

 

She let Skye’s hand go, her arm brushing against Skye’s as she moved past. Skye turned around, not wanting her back to Raina. She wanted to say something, something about how Raina wasn’t going to win. She wanted to throw what was in her hand on the ground, but instead she unwrapped it to find an empty syringe and a bottle full of violet fluid.

 

“Skye,” Raina called. “There’s going to be a moment when you’re tired of feeling weak. When you get to that moment, remember that what I gave you was a gift. Nothing more, nothing less.” A car pulled up beside her, and she got in, as unruffled as she’d stayed the whole time. Skye looked at the car, but there was no license plate, no way to identify it later.

 

The car moved away, tires splashing in the leftover puddles. Her next move seemed simple. She needed to get rid of whatever Raina had given her. It was obviously bad. Still her fingers closed around it. _“When you’re tired of feeling weak.”_

 

Keeping it didn’t mean she had to use it. Simmons could take a look at it when they got back, see what the vial contained. She wrapped both back up in the handkerchief. As she walked back through the dark streets, her thoughts kept swirling, unable to settle on any one thing. If Raina had found her that easily, it meant they were being tracked. But why?

 

When she got back to the hotel, she made sure to keep the handkerchief tucked under her shirt, against her side, and she kept that side away from Trip.

 

“How was your walk?” he asked.

 

“Not that helpful.” She managed to slip the wrapped syringe down into the small bag of clothes she’d brought with them before she moved over to Trip. She settled herself on his lap, pushing aside all questions about how clean the bed might be. “I decided there were better ways to clear my head.”

 

Even as she kissed him, though, it was hard to ignore the feeling that there were dangerous things waiting for her outside the door, in the dark and the rain, and that they only wanted her because deep down inside, they knew she was one of them.

 

_S.H.I.E.L.D. Safe House, Unclosed Location, Madripoor, Present Day_

 

Madripoor was a city that held part of her history, and Maria couldn’t deny that being here had made her think about the past. Like thinking about Leona. She thought about Leona any time she thought about this city. It wasn’t only Leona she thought about, though. Not even her past with Melinda here predominated her thoughts. What she found herself thinking about more than anything was the girl that she had been, back then, who she was now, and the difference between them. Back then she’d only been concerned about proving herself, but she’d had less to worry about, fewer responsibilities. Now there was no one left to prove herself to, only the weight of the things she had done, the consequences they might have, and the responsibility she had to fix them.

 

If she’d only known then what it was going to be like, she might have told them no when they called her back to the States. Stayed a field agent. Just her and the gun and the bad guys.

 

She was loading her gun as she prepared to go meet Jessan Hoan. Of course weapons weren’t allowed, and she suspected the gun would be taken from her not too long after she entered the bank. It didn’t matter. She wasn’t planning to use it. As she’d discovered throughout her career, leverage was better at keeping people alive than weapons were. Instead Maria meant the gun to be a message, one that she hoped came through clearly: that she wasn’t going to be intimidated.

 

When she’d been stationed in Madripoor, Jessan Hoan had barely been a player. Fury had done quite a bit of negotiating with her during Maria’s time as deputy director, and she’d been sent to Madripoor to facilitate those discussions more than once. Neither Maria nor Jessan shared any great like of each other, but Jessan was the most direct route to what she needed to know. Apparently Jessan had felt the same way. Maria had been summoned the moment she’d stepped foot back into the city.

 

May had left earlier that morning, and Maria had spent the rest of her time thinking about the small tape in her possession, flipping it over in her fingers a few times. Without playing it, she could hear the information it contained in Kirby’s voice. _Test subject was twenty-three, recruited from St. Mary’s Hospital, Waterbury, Connecticut…_

 

Finally, she’d wrapped her fingers around the tape, sticking it in her pocket. Before meeting with Jessan, there was a quick detour she was going to take, on which she would get rid of the tape, and then she had to decide how much she was willing to offer for the information she knew Jessan would have. Who were these recent events connected to? Was this H.Y.D.R.A. making another play for power or was there another organization at work? Where had they been operating besides Singapore?

 

These were the kind of pieces of information that she no longer had access to on her own, things she had to bargain for because the rest of the intelligence community knew that she had been cast out. There was no S.H.I.E.L.D. anymore, and while Stark had a lot of resources, it was obvious that he didn’t care about how many connections he had. A one-man army in a metal suit, that’s who Tony Stark thought he was, but Maria had been on the front line of these kind of battles her whole life. There was no such thing as a one-man army.

 

The truth was that she wasn’t sure where to go next or what resources she could utilize to do anything about this new threat. After she found out what she needed, what was she really going to be able to do with the information? But it was her responsibility to play damage control, so she’d do what she could. She’d be a soldier until it got her killed, and this time it might. She was messing with people who would have no problem seeing her dead.

 

The old S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters were now ‘officially’ used by Ma Ling-Yu, a business associate they’d had in Madripoor. The entrance code was still the same, even if the interior had been decorated more lavishly. Maria knew that Ling-Yu only came here for privacy, but she wouldn’t be around today because during the week she worked downtown in one of the government buildings. How anyone had stood to be married to Felix Blake for five years, Maria didn’t know, but she couldn’t talk. People had probably said the same thing about someone being married to her.

 

Maria moved through the facility to a back room, feeling odd walking through the place where she’d once spent day after day, working closely with people whom she hadn’t seen in years. They’d moved her to New York a few months after the incident with Kato, involved her in the politics, made her deputy director. They had expected her to fail, and who knew, after all these years, they might have been right after all.

 

She bent down when she found the spot. The floor barely yielded to her hands, not wanting to budge, the paneling having been left in place for several years now, and when she did manage to pry it open, dust flew up into the air. The interior of the hole was musty, damp from water that had found a way to seep in over the years. The safe was waterproof though, and when Maria dialed the code to open it, everything inside was still intact.

 

Years ago, back at the Triskellion, Leona had been traditionally honored for her death during service, but Maria hadn’t been able to make it. Instead she had taken Leona’s things and had put them into an obsolete metal safe that she’d found placed into the floor. It had probably been installed when the building had first been put up, and it was only when she had come across an old copy of the blueprints that Maria had even realized it was there.

 

S.H.I.E.L.D. would have sent Leona’s belongings back to her family, but Leona had told Maria about her adoptive parents, how she knew they wouldn’t care if she came back in a body bag. _“Some people only guess that their parents feel that way about them. I happen to be one of the few who are absolutely certain.”_ They’d been in the rain then, Maria trying to keep the bleeding down on a wound Leona had sustained, and Maria had thought of her own father. Would he have cared if she never made it back?

 

So she had made her own personal memorial. She hadn’t told the other agents about it. The only other person she’d ever told had been May, and it had been long after Madripoor, some words that had come out against Melinda’s throat in a moment of nostalgia. Saying things to Melinda had always felt easy, back then. Why then had she still said so little? The whole time they had been married, she had said so little. She’d been private for so long, maybe she hadn’t known how to share anything that felt like it mattered.

 

She forced her thoughts back onto the safe in front of her. There was Leona’s gun, the one Leona had liked to wipe clean with her sleeve, back when it had been new enough to still attract fingerprints on the surface. Leona’s badge, which she’d left behind on the operation to the warehouse that night, showing that smile of hers that had reached one side of her mouth more than the other. Maria hadn’t cared about her, not exactly. It was hard to explain what it had been, some sense of camaraderie maybe, some connection that had been forged from being new in the field together.

 

She found the puzzle box that Leona had liked to hide thing in. She’d shown Maria once. _“Twist down here, press here, turn here, and then… voila!”_ The box opened now in Maria’s hands, a folded piece of paper sliding out to the floor. She picked it up, looking at the handwriting too neatly scrawled to be Leona’s. Maria glanced at the address, not recognizing it. She tucked the slip of paper into her pocket, replacing it with the tape Kirby had made. Maria put everything back into the safe, closing it and spinning the dial before moving the floor back into place.

 

She stood up, dusting herself off. There was no more time to linger on the past. Leona was gone, and she had messes to clean up.

 


	7. Chapter 7

_Lobby, Bank of Malaysia, Madripoor, Present Day_

 

Claire Wise tried not to fidget as she sat in the lobby. There were several huge security guards that she’d noticed as she entered the building, but they hadn’t moved from their stations by the wall. So far no one had come to get her.

 

She knew Coulson and those two British scientists that worked for him were outside monitoring her, but she felt a cold sweat on her skin as she waited. She’d never _done_ spy work before. As much as she wanted to matter and be good at something, given the choice, she’d much, much rather be alive.

 

Besides there was Benny. Poor Benny, who was a genius when it came to anything with wires but a mess when it came to anything else. She didn’t think he could survive without her. He had no concept of finances, and his idea of a stocked fridge consisted of a few beers and maybe those frozen sausage biscuits that could be heated up in the microwave. People couldn’t survive on that.

 

This whole operation seemed important, though, and importance was one thing that had been missing from Claire’s life. She was back to being nobody special after having worked in an important government agency, and it made life seem dull. The highlight of her weeks was watching _Person of Interest._ When she called her mother to talk, all she had to tell her about was how they had gotten onto her at work again for messing up when she’d transferred a call.

 

Before she’d gone into the bank, Coulson and his team had put her in a nice suit, a nice suit that had reminded her of the one she’d worn with her badge when she’d worked for S.H.I.E.L.D.. She sort of missed Felix. Maybe she should call him when this was all over. He was grumpy, sometimes, but he had been a good boss overall. Of course he’d yelled at her for messing up his coffee or putting the paperwork in the wrong place; the thing was he had done that to everyone. He had also always made an effort to calm down afterwards. He was consistent, that was the good thing about Felix. He had been consistent. There had been no politics. She knew these new women she worked with were talking about her behind her back, but when she tried to confront them, they lied about it.

 

Claire straightened up, alert. The woman walking across the lobby was Maria Hill. She didn’t know her personally, but Claire recognized her from the few times when she’d dropped by to check on something Felix had been doing. They said she’d gone to work for Stark. Benny said a lot of people had been pissed about that, but Felix had said, “What else was she supposed to have done? There’s no counterrevolution, Claire. Whatever H.Y.D.R.A. becomes, we’re not going to be the ones to fix it. We were only the ones that started it.”

 

He had been depressed in those early days, Claire could tell, but she hadn’t known what to tell him. She wasn’t going to be leading the revolution against H.Y.D.R.A. either. She’d never been that skilled.

 

Hill sat down a couple of chairs from her, crossing her arms, looking stern and serious. She hadn’t been part of the mission, though, had she? Was Claire supposed to say something? But no, Coulson told her not to talk to anyone. What if this was important though?

 

She was about to say something when one of the guards walked up to her. “Ms. Wise, come with us, please.”

 

She swallowed, looking up at the man who was easily twice her size and primarily made of muscle. “Sure,” she said, getting to her feet, glancing behind her once more. Claire got no recognition in return.

 

What was happening might be important, but Claire knew that she was not, had not been, an important part of S.H.I.E.L.D. She had liked her job because interning had felt like maybe someday she could be important, could run missions, maybe keep the country safe. Who wouldn’t want to be a person like that?

 

But sometimes she wanted to imagine what it would have been like if she and Benny had been able to keep that money, go out and see the world. Live for themselves. In that scenario, it didn’t matter if she was important or not, she would have been happy. At least she thought she would have been.

 

She walked beside the man to the elevator, determined to feel brave even though she felt small. It wasn’t too different from that rush she’d gotten going into those banks. A breath of fresh air in the midst of the mundane, stifling life. The life she’d been handed back when S.H.I.E.L.D. had collapsed.

 

She had one last thought as the doors swung open. Maybe being scared _was_ better than being ordinary.

 

_Apartment Complex, Madripoor, Present Day_

 

The apartment building was sparse and gray, walls freshly painted but plain, better than a lot of apartment buildings only a few blocks away. May had seen a lot of squalor on the wrong side of Madripoor, and this wasn’t the wrong side. That told her one thing. Free agent or not, X86 did well for himself. It might speak to his integrity that people were willing to pay him, or it might suggest that he occasionally sold people out if the price was high enough.

 

Still, she needed the drive copied, and there didn’t seem to be a better option for doing that. She knocked on the door of apartment twenty-three and waited. Inside she could hear a faint humming, the buzz of running machines. When the door opened, the man that appeared was a few inches over five feet. His hands were covered in gloves made out of some synthetic material that was thin enough that it seemed more like a second skin. He wore big reflective glasses, facial hair, and May had to admit, if he wanted to, it would be easy for him to shave, wear something different, and not have anyone be able to recognize him. That was probably the point.

 

“Melinda May?” he asked, the accent on his English betraying his origins. He was Filipino or had at least been raised there.

 

“That’s me,” she said.

 

He ushered her into his apartment. The room was dark, only lit by screens and UV light that barely made visible the towers and power strips near the floor. Things were cluttered around each other in seeming chaos, but she could tell as X86 moved around that he knew exactly where everything was.

 

“I expect my payment up front,” he told her.

 

“How much are we talking about?”

 

He stopped what he was doing with the computers and looked towards her. “How much can you pay me?”

 

“Two hundred. American.”

 

He seemed a little offended as he looked her over. “S.H.I.E.L.D. isn’t very solvent these days.”

 

“That’s because there is no S.H.I.E.L.D..”

 

“That’s what I hear,” he said.

 

She tilted her head. “Come on. You can do this in your sleep.”

 

“It’s not about the difficulty. Dealing with information is a risk in this city. That’s what I charge for.” He hesitated a moment more before holding out his hand. She gave him the cash and, when his hand was still held out, the computer chip.

 

He took the chip, inserted it into a small black box, and a screen lit up. It was filled with numbers and letters that the computer seemed to be scanning through. “I read up on you, Agent May. Quite a history. Quite a few things to haunt you.”

 

She declined to comment as she watched him work. He grabbed a small stick drive from somewhere and inserted it into one of the several USB slots that surrounded him. He removed the stick again, removed the chip, and then he placed them both in her hand. “Someone paid to give you a message. Before you leave,” he said.

 

She looked at him and waited.

 

He dug through his pockets for a folded piece of paper. May took the paper from him, watching him as she opened it. There was a line of black typed letters: The meeting that your ex-wife is having with Jessan Hoan today is a trap.

 

May had him by the throat before he could reach for the gun he had tucked into his pants. “Who’s that message from?” she asked. He pulled on her hands, desperately trying to get her fingers away from his neck.

 

The fear didn’t show through his sunglasses, but it came out in the tight sound of his voice, the sweat beading on his forehead. “I don’t know who they are. Honestly. They wired the money. The message came through email, I tried to trace it, but they have better coders than me on this.”

 

She held him for a moment, trying to decide, then released him, watching as he gasped for air. Even if he knew something, she didn’t have time to interrogate him. “Next time you take a message for me, make sure you find out who sent it first. I don’t have a problem shooting the messenger.”

 

As she walked out, she heard the door slam behind her, locks being slid into place. He had quite a few of them.

 

May marched back out to the street, trying to determine the truth of the message, but she knew Maria. Meeting with Jessan Hoan would be on her agenda. That meant not only had someone known about Jessan’s meeting with Maria, but they had known that May was going to visit X86. The wording also bothered May. They hadn’t even used Maria’s name. Anyone outside of S.H.I.E.L.D. might make the professional connection, but they had purposely gone for a personal connection. Whoever was behind this wanted May to get involved, but why? Who would know that much about May, and who would care what Jessan Hoan did or didn’t do with Maria?

 

It didn’t matter. Whoever had left that message had been right about two things: she was going to get involved, and she was taking this personally.

 

_Shipping Warehouse, Buccaneer Bay, Madripoor, Twelve Years Ago_

 

The three of them were set up in the warehouse hours before the arms deal was supposed to take place. It was uncomfortable staying in position that long, even for May, but she was impressed neither of the two younger agents complained. Maria had occasionally asked questions about tactics. Leona had talked about how field work had destroyed her nails as she double checked her gun.

 

“I was there, you know,” Leona said, “when Kowalski got bitten by the snake. We tried to get him the anti-venom, but we were out in the middle of nowhere.” She aimed the gun, experimentally, seemed pleased with whatever she found. “There is something interesting, isn’t there, about how something that small can shut down your entire system? We saved him of course. He’s still walking around, telling the story like he wrestled an anaconda.” She smirked to herself. “But really the jungle wasn’t so bad. There are worse things to deal with than snakes.”

 

“Like politics,” Maria said, causing Leona to chuckle from where she was.

 

The sun was starting to set outside; May watched it through the warehouse’s high windows. The meet was scheduled, but that didn’t mean anything about when the two parties would actually arrive. She felt on edge, which made her vigilant about keeping her senses on her surroundings. She signaled for the others to be quiet when there was a distant noise outside.

 

The dark and the silence together cut them off from each other, leaving May only the mental map of their positions as she listened to the footsteps draw near, voices joining only when the people were right outside the warehouse.

 

“Kato, what’s with that sour face?” one of them asked. A beat. “You have less to lose than the rest of us.”

 

There were some murmurs of agreement, and then the warehouse door was opened, letting in some of the illumination from the docks. In the dim light, May could only make out their outlines. Hill and Smith had the night vision goggles. She’d wanted to keep her senses clear and to be able to make decisions without the filter of technology.

 

Instead she calmed her breath and waited. Their words sounded off to her. _“Less to lose than the rest of us.”_ It made it sound like more than a routine arms deal.

 

They turned on a floodlight, and when May’s eyes had adjusted, she could see them all, three men plus Kato. Reports were right, he didn’t have a scratch on him despite the fact he’d been cut up pretty bad in a street fight the week before.

 

A couple of the guys pulled a few boxes over to sit on, and one looked at the other. “Is everything set up?”

 

He glanced over towards the boxes. “That’s what we were told.”

 

The conversation was continuing to set off alarms for May, and she could feel the hair on the back of her neck standing at attention. She had a narrow view of Hill and Smith now. Maria was looking at her like she suspected something too.

 

They needed to act quickly. She’d planned for Kato’s group to show up first, and that had happened, but there was no telling when the second group might arrive.

 

When May started to move to signal the other two, one of the men started speaking towards the boxes where they were hidden, “If you shoot us, you’ll find that our friend Kato here is rigged with more than enough explosives to take down this whole building.”

 

Kato took off his shirt to reveal that his body was dotted with the mini-explosives that May recognized from a mission in Shanghai a few years back, a trigger for them all hidden in his right palm. He might heal, but would he really be able to come back from being blown into that many pieces? Roche was apparently willing to risk it, but why risk such an asset to take care of a team of three S.H.I.E.L.D. agents?

 

The questions that May was left with were put aside when a shot was fired. The aim had been precise, and Kato hit the ground, hole in the middle of his chest. When she looked over, she expected it to have been Maria who had taken the shot, but Leona was the one who was moving her gun from where it had been aimed at Kato.

 

Maria didn’t wait for May’s signal before she took out the man who had spoken about the explosives in the first place. May shoved aside her frustration, moving to take out the floodlight, kicking it hard so that it skittered across the warehouse. The next shots were bright flashes of light in the dark. It wasn’t a good scenario. The men had brought assault rifles with them, and even though only two were left, the boxes didn’t provide much cover. Not only that, Kato was already moving again from where he lay on the floor.

 

May discharged another bullet into his chest before she jumped up on top of a box, knocking one of the men to the floor. She could hear Coulson in her ear, “It looks like you might have company soon.”

 

She cursed to herself before grabbing the assault rifle from the fallen man and shooting the last one with it. “Here,” she said, shoving it at Maria before looking at the body of Kato. “Come on, we need to get him out of here.”

 

“Shouldn’t we get these explosives off of him first?” Maria asked as Leona put her gun in its holster to look over Kato’s body.

 

“There’s no time to figure out how those are wired,” May said.

 

“I can do it,” Leona said. She looked at the two of them when they looked at her. “I have the training,” she said. “I can do it.”

 

May glanced towards the outside. “There’s no time.” She lifted one of Kato’s arms over her shoulder, and Maria stepped in and grabbed the other one.

 

Leona made an irritated sigh as she got her gun back out and followed behind them. They could hear the men outside now, laughing as they walked towards the building. They hadn’t heard the gunshots, which at least gave them some advantage.

 

May had them drag the body behind some boxes, waiting as the door creaked open again. The men shouted as they noticed the bodies of the other men on the floor. “Cover me,” May told Maria, moving fast behind the boxes. She waited until she heard the assault rifle before she surprised one man with a rounded kick to the face before shooting another couple of them.

 

If she could clear the door, she could get the other two agents out of this situation. Hill was a surprisingly good shot with a gun, taking people down as quickly as she could while avoiding the return fire. Smith should have been covering her though, but there was no second gun firing from that area.

 

There were several more men rushing in the door to replace the ones they were taking out. Dammit, where was Agent Smith? She made her way back towards where they had left Kato’s body and found her trying to disable the explosives. “Leave him. At this point we need to get out of here,” she shouted at them over the gunfire.

 

“It’s just… one more second,” Leona said, continuing to work.

 

“We can’t carry him anyways,” May told her, motioning for Maria to head towards the door. “Agent Smith, go towards the door. That’s an order. Now!”

 

Leona gave her a disgusted look, grabbed her gun and got to her feet. May only gave her one more glance before moving in to cover Maria, though they were outnumbered at least three to one now. “Felix, bring the car around,” she shouted into her earpiece, shoving Maria down when she saw a man about to throw a grenade.

 

The explosion went off behind them, and May rolled back to her feet, looking back for Leona. The air smelled like smoke, and several of the boxes were burning. As the air cleared, she caught sight of Leona before she noticed her struggling against someone. It was Kato. He had gotten up and grabbed her foot.

 

Maria was on her feet again and was shooting. She glanced back. “What do we do?”

 

May grabbed the assault rifle from her, shooting Kato through the face before she handed the gun back. “Get out the door, now.”

 

Leona was struggling, trying to run as she tried to dodge the rain of bullets being fired at her. She stumbled and grabbed her arm, crying out. Red started seeping out from between her fingers. May watched Leona’s gun fall to the ground, but she also noticed Kato’s body in the midst of the growing fire.

 

At that moment she heard Maria shout, “I can’t reload,” and May made a decision, leaving Leona to get to where Maria was crouching behind a metal shipping container.

 

“Follow behind me.” May grabbed a length of chain from the ground nearby, wrapping it around her hands, snapping it quickly at the face of the first man she encountered as she left cover. She rolled down to grab his gun, shooting a couple more, using the body of one to shield herself from the rest of the shots.

 

Maria grabbed a rifle from another body, blindly shooting as she followed behind May, trying to find cover when she could. They were only feet from the door, only seven men between them and the exit.

 

One closer to the door fell forward, shot from somewhere outside the door, and though May thought it was a stupid risk, she was glad to know she had the help from Phil. She used the chain to knock a rifle out of another shooter’s hands, letting Maria shoot him as May grabbed her gun and shot two others.

 

The three left were taking cover, but May knew with those explosives on Kato’s body, it was only a matter of time before this whole building went up.

 

“Maria, wait!” Leona’s voice came out of the smoke as she tried to make her way over. She was holding her side, though, and moving slowly.

 

She felt Maria tense, start to turn that way. May understood. She wanted to find a way to go back and get the other girl, but she was too far back, and behind them was too open an area, leaving anyone who crossed it uncovered. “We can’t save her,” she told Maria, shoving her forward. She had to shove her a second time. “Go! Run!”

 

Maria stopped hesitating, running for the door as she shot at the remaining men. One of them yelled at the others, and they started making their own way towards the door as the first explosive went off.

 

They weren’t far enough away. May threw her gun down, using the rest of her strength to sprint towards Hill, slamming against her with all her force just as they had gotten out the door. They slid across the ground a few feet as a larger explosion went off, the whole building going up in a deafening billow of fire.

 

Maria got up on one arm, cheek bleeding from where it had skidded across the ground, but she didn’t seem to notice as she looked back at the wreckage behind them. Coulson ran up. “You okay?” he asked. May gave him a slight shake of the head before sliding an arm around Maria, yanking her up with Coulson’s help. When Felix drove up, May pulled open the door and the two of them pushed Maria into the vehicle.

 

“Are you getting in?” Coulson asked when he’d gotten into the van and noticed May making no move to follow.

 

“Leave me your rifle. I’m staying here. He’ll make it out. They wouldn’t have done this if he weren’t going to.”

 

He nodded, shutting the door, and May watched them drive off. She looked at the burning building for a long moment, feeling a heaviness settle through her muscles and down into her chest followed by an anger that seemed to simmer inside her. The side of her arm burned from where the ground had scraped it open. May scanned the area before finding a spot to hunker down and wait. Kato Akihiro was going to come out of that building alive, and she was not going to have lost one of their people for nothing.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Started grad school, and it's been hard to find time to work on this fic. That doesn't mean it is abandoned, and I have written a lot that has not been edited yet. That being said, canon will stick mostly to season one, early season two, so don't be surprised if it is very different from the show from here on out. Thanks for reading!

Bank of Malaysia, Madripoor, Present Day

The brunette girl sitting in the lobby kept glancing over, but Maria Hill didn’t recognize her, so she pretended not to notice.

Fury wouldn’t have approved of what she was about to do, the information she would offer Jessan Hoan, but she needed to find whoever was behind what had happened in Singapore, figure out what information Carolina had given to them, and shut their operation down. She might need Natasha’s help at that point. She might need a lot of help, but she’d arrange for that when the time came. First she needed to know what or whom she was up against.

One of the guards came for the girl. As she was led away, she glanced back once, and Maria had to fight the urge to look at her more closely. With a clearer view of the girl’s face, Maria changed her mind. She had seen this girl before somewhere.

Which meant she’d probably been S.H.I.E.L.D.. Scanning the room out of the corner of her eye, Maria didn’t see anything that should put her on guard, but it was good to stay alert. It couldn’t be coincidence if a former agent were here. Not in this bank. Not in Madripoor.

Did they know what they were doing messing with Jessan Hoan? Even Maria wasn’t sure that something wasn’t going to go wrong. Jessan Hoan was a last resort, not a game plan.

Worst case scenario for Maria was being tortured, but if that happened, all she needed to do was keep from talking. She’d been trained for that. It wouldn’t be pleasant, but she’d known none of this was going to be pleasant. Not from the moment she’d heard the words, Project Gateway.

It wasn’t much longer before she was approached by two guards instead of the single one that had come for the other girl, and these did not look like the standard first floor security. “Come with us,” they said, each standing on either side of her.

Maria got to her feet. The two guards were a bad sign. Jessan wouldn’t show her hand with force unless she wanted to guarantee this meeting took place. Which meant if she hadn’t shown up today, Jessan probably would have sent people after her.

Inside the elevator, they searched her person. When they found the gun, they took it without comment, before finishing the search and going back to their standing positions. Jessan Hoan wanted this meeting too much. That was the thought that kept running through Maria’s head. Sure, Jessan knew she would have information, but what information could Jessan be after that merited this many precautions?

The doors slid open to reveal the spacious office that Maria remembered so well.

“Ms. Hill… may I call you that?” Jessan’s polished English accent greeted her before she’d had time to even step off the elevator. “The rest of your titles don’t seem to be apt these days.” Maria followed the guards into the room, watching as they placed her gun on the desk. Jessan glanced at it before looking up at Maria. “I could kill you for that.”

“You wouldn’t go through all this effort to kill me,” Maria said, looking Jessan in the eye.

“No, I suppose it would be a waste.” Jessan smiled. “Let’s cut to the chase. You want to find these people. The ones that took Agent May, but that’s not why you care, is it? You want to find them because they know something you don’t want them to know. Close?”

“Close enough.”

“Here is the problem, Ms. Hill. The information I want is the information they want, and I’m fairly certain you aren’t planning to hand that over. Also correct?”

She shifted her weight, trying to ignore the fear that was trying to wrap itself around her chest. Fear was such a useless emotion. Especially in these situations.

“Yes.”

Jessan tilted her head to the side, as if accepting Maria’s position on the matter. “I thought so. Gustav, bring Ms. Hill a chair. She looks tired of standing.”

“I’m fine. Thanks.”

“No, I insist,” Jessan said. A chair was brought over, and two of the guards pushed on Maria’s shoulders to force her into it. “Now I’m trying to do this the easy way. It is such a pain to replace the carpets. The fumes stay in here for weeks. So don’t struggle, and maybe we can do this civilly.”

She didn’t even try to keep the anger out of her voice. “I’m not struggling.”

“Good.”

Jessan snapped her fingers, and a metal case was brought to her. “You probably know what this is.” She opened the case, pulled out a syringe and tapped on it. “QNB-T16. It’s only recently gotten out of the testing stages. Still a few issues, but nothing I don’t have a team of scientists working on.”

“That’s an urban legend,” Maria said. “Just something we tell people.”

“I always find it amusing what you people don’t know about each other. Your secrets that you keep until it must be hard to know what the truth really is. The part you all forget, though, while you are busy keeping your mouths shut, is that everyone has a price. The best secrets are not told, they are bought.” She handed the syringe off to one of her men. “I got it from someone who used to be S.H.I.E.L.D.. A lot of your technology was on sale, recently, and there were a few things that were too good to pass up. For the record, Ms. Hill, it works. I had to test it on myself. To make sure.

She was quiet for a moment, her eyes taking on a faraway look. Her voice sounded distant too as she continued, “I said things that I had never said to anyone, things that I could barely admit to myself. I lost one of my best associates in the process, because, you see, I do understand. There really are things you want no one else to know. So when I was done, I shot him. I had to shoot him. I wanted to shoot him. He had seen me, and for people like us, there is no worse crime. So what I’m about to do to you, I apologize for that, but it’s necessary. We are fighting a war now. There are going to be causalities. I don’t plan on being one of them.”

Maria eyed the needle. She’d prefer not to test whether Jessan was lying or not. “What war are you talking about?”

“The war with H.Y.D.R.A.,” Jessan said. “Madripoor is precarious. It has always been precarious.” Her calm demeanor was shifting, almost imperceptibly, but Maria was trained to read body language. Jessan’s voice took on an edge. “I have kept the peace. I have built an empire here. I’m not going to have it taken from me because you couldn’t control your own empire.”

Jessan trained her eyes back on Maria. “Does that answer your question, Ms. Hill? This is the war that S.H.I.E.L.D. created, and so it can be a war that S.H.I.E.L.D. finishes. What you know should be more than enough to do that.” She nodded to the guard with the needle, and he pushed up Maria’s sleeve.

Fuck Fury for pretending to be dead. Maria had been left to deal with the government and the thousands of agents who wanted to call her a traitor because she was the only one still around to take the fall. Now she was here with Jessan Hoan for the same reasons. She’d made bad decisions, ones that she would have to live with, but she had not let H.Y.D.R.A. flourish alone. They had all let H.Y.D.R.A. flourish.

Still, she needed to take responsibility for her part in what had happened. For not questioning Fury enough. For not questioning herself. For Project Gateway.

Maybe Kirby had been right, it had always been that they were going to pay for their sins, one way or another.

Maria threw herself forward, rolling as she hit the floor, before lunging towards the desk and the gun that was resting on it. She was grabbed from behind and thrown to the floor before she could, a guard stepping hard on her arm.

“Did you think you could shoot me?” Jessan asked, looking both amused and curious.

Maria was trying not to cry out with the pain shooting up into her shoulder, her cheek pressed into the carpet. “I would have settled for myself.”

Jessan smiled. “I still have a lot to learn about you, it seems. No time like the present.” She turned to one of her guards, gave him a nod. “Bring her in.”

They opened a door and dragged someone out from another room. It was the brunette girl from the lobby, and she looked frightened as she struggled against the people holding her. Jessan looked almost bored as she lifted a crystal glass filled with water from her desk and took a drink. “Do you recognize her?” she asked Maria.

When Maria didn’t answer, Jessan filled in, “This is Claire Wise. I found her today in my lobby. Lucky coincidence, don’t you think?” She gave Claire a smile. “Used to work for S.H.I.E.L.D.. Do you remember yet?”

“Don’t recognize her.” It wasn’t quite true. “For all I know, you’re lying.”

“I’m not concerned with whether or not you believe me.” She picked up the gun from her desk and aimed it at Claire Wise. Claire stopped struggling to stare at it, her face tear streaked. “Here is something I don’t need QNB-T16 for. This is simple. A choice. A test, if you will. Tell me what I want to know, and I’ll let her go. If not, I’ll kill her.”

Claire glanced at Maria then away. The room was still, no one speaking. It was Claire’s voice that broke through the silence. She looked up at the ceiling, trembling as she asked, “Is there any way I can say something?”

This amused Jessan. “Make it quick, Ms. Wise.”

“Just make sure,” she said, her voice shaking, and this time her eyes stayed on Maria. “Make sure to tell Benny that it’s okay. Tell him to take care of himself. Can you do that? Felix will know how to contact him.”

The girl wasn’t trained for the field, the way she held herself and acted now made that clear. If she had worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. it was probably administrative work. What she was doing in Madripoor, why she’d shown up in this bank for today, it didn’t matter. What mattered is that she was untrained, she should have been asking for help, but she had never expected Maria to help her. Maria knew then why they called her a traitor. They had all known, everyone in S.H.I.E.L.D., that she was never going to save them. That the only things Maria Hill cared about protecting were secrets.

Maria’s eyes stung, but she knew she wasn’t going to cry. She didn’t cry for anyone. The girl was right. She had already made a decision, and she was only hesitating to give herself time to plan what she would do afterwards. Maria gave Claire a single nod. “I will.” She waited until her voice could be completely even before telling Jessan, “You already know what my answer is.”

She barely flinched when the gun went off, and Claire’s body crumpled to the ground. Jessan carefully placed the gun back on the desk. “Give her the QNB-T16.”

This time Maria did struggle, but she was already being held down to the floor. Her cheek was pressed into the carpet, and she found herself facing Claire, whose eyes were still open, staring blankly into nowhere. Maria felt the thumb against her neck, rubbing for a moment, before it was replaced by the prick of a needle.

\---

May was running. Sometimes there were missions that were elaborately mapped out, resources and people put into place beforehand, and sometimes there was working with what you had. She had scolded Maria for the recklessness of the rescue in Singapore, but this wasn’t going to be much different. If anything, in Singapore, Maria had put together a semblance of an action plan. Right now, May had herself and what she could manage in the time it took to get to the Bank of Malaysia.

Start from the roof. There was no way she could fight through the guards and make her way up the elevator to get to the top floor. There was probably a staircase, but even if May could find it, Jessan wasn’t stupid. It would be as impossible to use as the elevator.

That left going in from the roof. What then, she had no idea. Jessan Hoan was a careful woman, and even the air vents were probably taken into account.

It was not the meeting with Jessan Hoan she’d planned to have today. If everything had gone well, May would have traded the chip for information, gotten more out of Jessan Hoan than she had planned. Dammit, Maria, you don’t have S.H.I.E.L.D. anymore. But Maria did have a lot of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s secrets. She should have known, should have been more careful with herself.

It was too late to worry about that now. May was already making her way up the fire escape on the building next to the bank. The building was several stories shorter than the bank, and how she was going to get from one building to the other, May had no idea. The Bus would be useful right now. A team would be useful, but maybe it was for the best. If she got someone killed trying to do this, it was only going to be herself.

She felt the wind whip against her as she climbed the last few flights of stairs, looking across at the other building. There was probably a good fifty meters between them. If she had the right equipment, this would be no problem, but as it was, she had one thing going for her. The window cleaner was on the side of the building facing her, and he was a couple of stories down from where she was standing.

Taking a single breath, she backed up and ran as hard as she could, trying not to think about the distance below her as she jumped, flying through the air for what seemed like several moments before her hands reached out, grabbing hard onto one of the guardrails on the suspended platform. Pain shot through her shoulders and radiated down her arms as they took the brunt of the weight from her body. May gave herself a second before threw herself over the rail and onto the platform. The window cleaner was pulling out a gun, and May kicked it out of his hand before delivering another kick to his head. He fell against the building, making the platform wobble. She was trying to decide what to do about him when he recovered, rushing her, and she used his momentum against him to swing him behind her. He stumbled hard into the railing.

She delivered another kick that sent him tumbling over the edge before sweeping down to grab the gun. Tucking the gun into her pants, she hoisted herself up onto the suspension cable, her ribs reminding her that it hadn’t been that long since she’d been in an underwater explosion, her shoulders reminding her it hadn’t been too long since her weight had tried to rip them out of their sockets. May grit her teeth and kept climbing. Right now she didn’t have time for it.

The first shot didn’t surprise her as it zipped past her shoulder. There were a few guards appearing on the roof, one with a sniper rifle, and she kept close to the building, moving as fast as she could.

She watched, and when the sniper took aim, she slid down suddenly, enough she heard the bullet ping against the cable. Her hands were leaving blood as she continued climbing this time, watching the sniper as he started to aim again.

She pulled the gun back out and shot at him, watching him move back before repositioning. A flare of pain burned against the outside of her arm as a bullet grazed her from somewhere else. It didn’t matter, it was all about buying herself time. May was almost at the edge of the roof.

She gathered together her strength and flipped herself onto the building, dropping low to the ground but when she looked up, there were ten men surrounding her with their guns aimed.

May held up her hands, considering trying to use the gun she had on her, but there were too many of them. When told to, she dropped her weapon to the ground. One circled behind her and shoved the muzzle of his gun into the small of her back. “Come with us. Jessan Hoan has requested your presence.”

\---

“She’s not coming back down,” Simmons said. “Shouldn’t she be back down by now?”

They had all seen Maria Hill in the lobby, but Coulson had told them there was no good way to get Claire out of the building without raising suspicion.

So they waited. Simmons gave Coulson a worried glance. “It’s been fifteen minutes. Surely they wouldn’t take that long with her. Would they?”

He didn’t know what to tell her. They no longer had eyes on her. Fitz had sent in some kind of tiny, flying camera, but the feed had shut down inexplicably as soon as the elevator doors had closed on it.

“Why do you think Maria Hill is here?” Fitz asked. “Do you think that means Agent May is around?”

“Why would that mean Agent May was around?” Simmons asked.

“I don’t know, Jemma, maybe because Agent Hill did just rescue her, and there’s history there, and we’re here for Agent May, so maybe she is too.”

Coulson sat contemplating the situation. It was possible that Maria being in Madripoor was an indication that May was in Madripoor, not because they would be working together but because Maria wouldn’t be in Madripoor unless something was going down. Which is what Ling-Yu had said. Jessan Hoan was fighting for power because H.Y.D.R.A. had a presence in the city.

He watched the security cameras, waiting for Claire, knowing suddenly that he should not have sent her in. Not today. Not with everything going on.

“We need to do something,” he said, causing both Simmons and Fitz to stop bickering and look at him. “Create a distraction. A chance to go in, see if we can’t find out what is happening to her.”

“If it’s happening up on one of the higher floors, what kind of distraction can we make that will matter to Jessan Hoan?” Simmons asked. “She can just send people to take care of it.”

“Then we need to make a distraction on one of the higher floors,” Phil told her. “Do you two think you can put something together?”

“What were you thinking?” Fitz asked.

“Do you think it could fly and explode?” he asked.

“Fly and explode with the chemicals in this van?” Simmons asked, glancing over at Fitz.

“Yeah, I don’t see why not,” Fitz said.

“We might have to siphon off some of the petrol though. Is that okay?” she asked.

“Do what you need to do.”

It was fun watching them brainstorm together, but it was hard to share in their enthusiasm. There was a chance Claire Wise wasn’t making this out alive, and what they were about to do, what he felt obligated to do to try to save her if they could, was the equivalent of poking a very large hornet’s nest.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that minor character death has been added to the warnings.

There was a time when Maria Hill remembered how to tell the truth, she was sure, but it had ended long before she had entered S.H.I.E.L.D. It had ended long before she’d entered high school. It had taken awhile for her to realize that she was good at lying, but telling the truth? As far as she remembered, Maria had never been good at that.

Which was why, now, tied to a chair, some substance that was supposedly QNB-T16 in her bloodstream, she felt like she had become another person. One she had always been somewhere, buried so far down it might as well have not been her at all.

“So Ms. Hill, tell me again with more detail, what has brought you to Madripoor.” Jessan Hoan seemed relaxed as she questioned her, like there wasn’t a dead body at her feet, as if she were having wine with an acquaintance.

“I came to get information from you.” That part was easy.

Jessan smiled, as if she had all the patience in the world. “What kind of information?”

“In Singapore, I found the body of Carolina Washington when I rescued Agent May. Since it was happening in Southeast Asia, I thought you might have some insight into who was behind it.”

“Strange that for you, this is what you consider forthcoming. A conversation we could have had without QNB-T16.” She held up a finger as one of the guards whispered something to her. “Then bring her in,” she said before turning back to Maria. “Carolina Washington, why is she important?”

“Because she was one of the S.H.I.E.L.D. doctors working with me on Project Gateway.”

Jessan nodded, as if things were making sense. Maria felt her heart beating hard. She looked at the gun again, so far away, but it was nice to imagine that she could end this. Maybe Jessan Hoan was right, that for people like Maria, this was the worst crime that could be committed. It felt unnatural. She readjusted in her chair, years of hard-earned composure crumbling under the weight of what was happening to her.

There was a moment, a long time ago, when Fury had taken her to the side. She was still newly appointed as his deputy director, and she hadn’t trusted him. She’d found him reckless then, as she had many times since, but he had said, “Someday you are going to be faced with a choice. There are people out there who make the right calls, and they get to sleep at night. They get called heroes in the morning, and when they die, people put all kinds of warm and fuzzy things in their obituaries.

“Then there are the other kind of people. The people that make the hard choices so that everyone else can sleep at night. Sometimes the choice is being a good person or being the person that makes sure that the world keeps on turning, that people keep taking their kids to daycare in the morning, folding their socks in the evening. So ask yourself, is it worth it to try to hold the world on your shoulders? Because no one is going to judge you if you don’t want to. They’re only going to judge you if you do.”

We learned to sleep at night, she wants to tell him now. At some point, the hard choices had become easy.

Jessan Hoan was clearing her throat. Maria closed her eyes, trying to block out the question she knew was coming next.

It didn’t come. The doors opened, and when Maria opened her eyes, she noticed May being lead in with a gun to her back. “She managed to get to the roof,” a guard told Jessan.

Jessan shook her head in disappointment. “Agent May, it seems you are teaching me things I didn’t know about my security measures. As you can see, I’m in a meeting. I’d introduce you, but I hear you’ve already met. I was just about to ask her about a project of hers. Would you like to take a seat? Hear what she has to say?”

They brought a chair over for May before they shoved her down into it.

“What are you doing here?” Maria asked her.

May glanced over at her, eyes narrowed. “Getting you out.”

“Not what it looks like.”

May trained her eyes forward and didn’t respond, but she looked pissed off. Maria noticed May’s hands, which were resting on her lap, palms bleeding and torn open in places. What had she done to get up here?

“If you get the chance,” Maria told May, hating the sincerity in her voice, “Shoot me.”

May looked back over at her, as if seeing for the first time that something was off with Maria. Jessan didn’t give her much time to figure it out. “Why don’t you enlighten us both, Ms. Hill. What is Project Gateway?”

She didn’t want to, not in front of May, not like this, but Maria couldn’t stop the words from forming on her lips. She’d only began speaking when the building shook, fire alarms going off, as the sprinkler system started overhead. Jessan pointed to a few of her guards. “Go, find out what’s going on.” She looked at the two of them as if they were somehow responsible.

Another explosion went off, and May used the distraction to jump out of her chair, lifting it to slam it against the head of the guard that held a gun on her. “Did you plan this?” Maria asked.

“No,” she said. “But I’ll take what I can get.” She grabbed a knife off one guard, cutting Maria’s hands free, but then there was a blinding flash of light from outside, one that left cracks forming in some of the bulletproof windows of Jessan’s office.

Jessan was ushered out into another room. The two of them were left fighting off the remaining guards, all of whom were impeccably trained, and Maria was barely holding her own when she reached down for a gun. One of them managed to get a good kick to her back before she turned and shot him. She deflected another kick, shooting that one too. They weren’t shooting at her, she realized, because Jessan wanted her alive. She wasn’t sure May had the same advantage.

“We need to get out of here,” she shouted to May.

The elevator would have been shut down, and if there was a stairwell, there was no telling where it was. Jessan Hoan had only left because she didn’t count on them ever making it out of her office.

“Do you trust me?” May asked her.

On any other day Maria would have hesitated, would have sworn she didn’t even know the honest answer to that question, but when May asked her this time, it didn’t take her any time to say, “Yes.”

May took a chair, slamming it hard against the window before driving it forward with a kick into the glass. It broke open, the pane shattering and spraying glass into the air outside. “Then jump,” she shouted at Maria, taking out one more guard before disappearing feet first over the edge of the window.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Maria said as she ran to the window, no time to look down before she jumped herself. Trust, indeed.

There was, a few floors down, a platform for cleaning windows, and she tried to grab onto the cable for it, quickly figuring out how May’s hands had gotten torn up. Her hands instinctively let go, and she fell, slamming hard into the platform, shoulder first. It took the wind out of her, and she took a moment to catch her breath. May was standing on the platform waiting for her. She offered Maria a hand, and Maria ignored it to get to her feet.

They both looked down. It was still at least eighteen stories to the ground. “So what do we do now?” Maria asked.

May started manually lowering the platform. “We get down as low as we can, and then we jump.”

“That’s crazy. I’m not Steve Rogers.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” May said as she continued lowering the platform as fast as it would go. It swayed slightly, and Maria looked up to where the guards were rappelling down the building towards them.

“You know we’re probably going to die right now.”

“What did they do to you?” May asked, glancing up at the guards coming towards them.

“Gave me QNB-T16.”

“That’s a myth.”

“Apparently not. I know no one believes me, but Fury really didn’t tell me everything.”

“Oh, I believe you about that.” May handed over the controls to Maria as she pulled out a gun, taking a shot at one of the guards coming after them. He fell to the ground hard, rope flowing out behind him, and May grabbed it once he had finished falling. It was still attached to both the roof and his body. “Here, we can use this.”

“He’s still four stories from the ground.”

“We can survive that, but we don’t have time to stay here.”

Maria experimentally open and closed her hands, and, bracing herself for the pain, she grabbed the rope with her hands and held it, swinging out and wrapping her legs around it. She slid down, controlling the speed with her feet, and when she reached the man’s body, she grabbed onto it, letting her feet dangle before she took the fall.

She knew how to land, but the moment she hit the grass pain seared throughout her entire body. She heard May hit the ground, rolling, before she pushed herself up from the ground.

There was a hand on her shoulder. “Maria, we have to go.”

Moving made her feel like she needed to throw up. “I can’t.” She had to stop talking, let the wave of pain pass. “Promise me that if they catch up to us, May, that you’ll shoot me.”

“I’m not going to kill you,” May said. “But this is probably going to hurt.”

Maria had to ground her teeth shut to keep from crying out as May lifted her and tossed her over her shoulder. Each step seemed to jar through Maria, black seeping into the edges of her vision.

There was the sound of tires stopping nearby on the road before a familiar voice shouted, “Over here! Quickly!” It was one of Coulson’s team, Simmons, and Maria looked up to see a van with the door open in front of them.

May shoved Maria in the van before coming in herself, slamming the door shut and telling Coulson to step on it. Maria felt herself being moved onto her back on the floor of the van, and she pushed down the urge to vomit again. “I wondered once what it was like to be hit with Thor’s hammer,” she said. “This is probably it.” The pain made it difficult to breathe, so she closed her eyes, trying hard not to move though she could feel every uneven place on the road.

“What happened?” Simmons asked, grabbing Maria’s wrist, checking her pulse. “Did either of you see Claire Wise?” She grabbed a pen light from a nearby kit and shone it in Maria’s eyes.

“Dead,” Maria said. “She’s dead.”

There was silence, and the vision of that girl lying on Jessan Hoan’s carpet came to mind as Maria rested the back of her head against the floor.

“What were you doing with Jessan Hoan?” May asked Maria.

“Trying to find information.” Maria winced as the van turned a corner.

“About Project Gateway?”

“Yes.” Dammit, how long did that stuff take to wear off? She opened her eyes. “Don’t ask it, May. Not when you know I don’t have a choice.”

May just looked at her. “What is Project Gateway?”

She hoped, as she glared at May, that her eyes conveyed the loathing she felt. “We did human experimentation with Skrull DNA.”

“What’s a Skrull?” Simmons asked, looking at May and Fitz as if one of them might know the answer.

At least that one was an easy question. “They’re an alien race we’ve encountered.”

“And who headed it?” May asked.

As Maria looked at her, she swore that May already knew the answer. “I did.”

“And what does it have to do with me?”

“My best guess? They took you because they wanted me to get involved.”

“Because they knew you still cared about her,” Simmons said.

Maria looked at Simmons, deciding she didn’t like her. “Yes.”

It was quiet for a long moment, before May said, “Why didn’t you tell me, Maria?”

“Because I still resent you for everything that happened, because it’s S.H.I.E.L.D. classified information, and because they all died screaming. Every single one of them, and for five years I haven’t forgotten it, and I didn’t want you to know that about me.” May seemed to sense she had crossed some line, and she turned away. If Jessan had torn her open with a knife, cut off her fingers, it might have been less cruel than the way Maria felt now. Luckily the pain was there to distract her, not only from what she’d said, but the memories that came with it. Kirby, Carolina, and her… it wasn’t only other people’s screams they had to hear. It had been their own screams, the screams of people they cared about, and even now, the part that she was telling May about was Project Gateway. The rest of it, they’d destroyed the rest of it, except for the part she had with her, the information that eclipsed even the information on Kirby’s tape, but no one else knew about that. They had erased memories, burned records, and left no codename for that project.

No one in the van would look at Maria, but Maria didn’t have the room to care. If she were right about this drug, she’d pass out shortly, and at this point passing out would be a welcome relief.


End file.
